Well My wife apoligized for everything that happened last night. (if you would like to know what happened read my post entitled "My god that was devastating"). She again came over and spent the afternoon with me but she is spending tonight with OM. I think I'm starting to get stuck into the whole thing that noth of us are meeting her needs and she doesn't plan on going anywhere soon. She has told me that they are just friends and they havn't had sex. I was hoping that she would want to move in with me when I got my new apartment. I think we are making progress however. She actally wanted to kiss me today atleast a couple of times but at other times she didn't. I read his needs her needs in less than 24 hours. I read the whole book. I have got a very good idea about things now. Now I just have to figure out which needs I neglected and work on it. I'm trying to meet all the needs right now just because Im not sure as to which need alot of work. I figure if I meet them all then everything shold be better and they are getting there. I really wish it wouldn't take so long. She said she wishes to spend tomarrow with me. I'm really at a cross roads right now. anyone have any thoughts?

wrngler, I'd suggest reading the post called "misuse of plan A" because it gives a lot of good information about expectations when your in plan A. Have you read "Surviving an Affair"? That will give you a lot of good information as well.<P>I couldn't deal with the back and forth, having his cake and eating it too stuff for very long and went to Plan B. My H hated plan B because, like your W, I think he enjoyed getting something from both me and OW. If you can manage it, I'd talk to Steve Harley for some advice. If that doesn't work, there are lots of people here with lots of good advice. I'm still pretty new. Hang in there pardner (sorry, couldn't help myself).

You need to do some soul searching as to what needs were not being met. I.E..OW was there to talk to H while I came home and griped to him about work-he was my only friend, I also threw too much effort into our house instaed of into our relationship and us doin things together. It will take awhile but you need to find out what went wrong. More good books are Torn Asunder and Private Lies.