Hi Rick, hope you are doing well this week?<P>I am copying and pasting a response I gave to another poster - because I wanted you to read it. <P>I've been following your posts, because I can feel the frustration in your words - and I really do think that you have a strong chance of restoring your marriage - your wife is not honest, she is heavy in the fog, but there is a line of communication open between the two of you - (I know, less than desirable communication, but....) - and I think that if you use every opportunity you can to plan A her, your marriage just can be turned around!!!! I really believe that.<P>Anyway, this is my response to the other poster..... Good luck - TNT<P>"You remind me of myself, when I first started posting on this forum.<BR>I was determined to find out the truth, and get my husband to admit it, it was as if I was willing to beat him up over the head with a frying pan - like some crazy cartoon - "I want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth - so help you God!!!"<P>I went over every telephone bill and receipt with a fine tooth comb, - dug through the trash and examined every bit of discarded paper for clues, i followed him, i kept track of every move he made, what he wore, what he said, when he said it, and I looked for anything that would force him to have to explain - hopefully leading him into confessing and admitting that he had an affair.<P>It didn't work.<P>I started posting here and was getting more snoop advice. Pretty soon, a very very wise person said - and gave me permission - to decide if it was an affair or not, and to decide if I wanted to repair the marriage or not, and if I did, implement a "pre-disclosure plan A". I did. <P>And, after what seemed like an eternity of a good plan A - maybe 8 months? maybe 1.5 years? (point is it felt like forever) he finally admitted to "an almost mistake". Eee gads!!!! <P>But by that time, we were on the road toward recovery. <P>Decide, and put ALL your energy in the restoration." <P>God Bless you Rick, and have a good weekend.<BR>TNT<P>

TNT,<P>Sorry for the delay. Thank you for posting this just so I could read it. It is always heartwarming to know that there are people like you and the other MBers that follow your situations and think of you.<P>I always find your posts very informative and important to read. I have certainly learned that pressing for a confession is futile, so there are really just the Plan A and Plan B options. As you know, I've only employed Plan A. I do think about Plan B, but it just hasn't jumped out at me yet. I guess some of the things I see are so bizarre, that I figure she is still in the fog.<P>I know that her and OM have a plan to just be long term "good friends", but who knows what other plans she has or wishes would come true (ie. maybe she thinks she can win him). However, if she ever started a relationship with anyone else, I'd definitely start a Plan B at that point (so I think). To me that would signify more than fog.<P>Anyway, I'm still in Plan A for now, as per the advice of Steve Harley. I do read the threads about Plan A, and understand and respect what is being said. For me now, I'm sticking with Plan A. We'll see what happens in the future.<P>Thanks for your perspective, once again. Your thoughts and experiences are very informative.<P>Take care.<BR>

Sometimes living with a person 24/7 can be a tougher time when trying to do a plan A. You have some time to yourself in between your encounters with her, for reflection - which can be either a help or a hindrance. I'm praying it is a help.<P>Hang in there, we are pulling for you out in cyber world! You are not alone, prayers are being said for you.<P>TNT