Ok oK.... my posts here have just plainly sucked. anger, anger anger, feel sorry for me please have pity on me. well... arent i the smart one??<P>I have to apologize to those who did read my last few posts that expressed anger, divorce, blah blah. I am truely sorry. <P>The divorce so far is on hold. Umm...things seem to be on a straight line...sort of.<P>What started the whole blow out is the fact that my sister (who had a fling..3 weeks worth) was found out. When she got her confession out of the way... she found that her hsuband had been unfaithful their whole marriage
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!!!! Because we are family, all those feelings came right to the surface!! they need to put out a book "how to survive your friends/family affair" cause it drags you right down the hole with them...or it did me and my hsuband.<P>We (h and I) have come to a place that we are friends. Just friends for now, rebuilding that part of our relationship. yes he loves me, i love him, not in love, but love him just the same. The intimacy is none exsistant for reasons i can't name. (therepy is really needed here).<P>Renewal of contact is part of the reason. OM was at a local store..(he lives 118) miles away mind you!).... he was headed south to see his sister, and whoooo and behold i walked right into him.(damned coindence) I am shocked, happy, mortified... my recovery.... down the hole again. Is is as devestating? yes... do i get the feeling feelings were a little deeper than i thot they were??
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i am afraid so. Am i in deniel of truth? I guess so. <P>The nice thing is there is no fighting, we have been getting along nicely. I am not on a rollar coaster, i am mild mannered. Thanks to antidepressants!! <P>So ofcourse as we all go through all of this... where does it end? Does anyone get exhausted just thinking about it? <P>I found this little saying:<P>:NO ONE CAN CHOOSE YOURMOUNTAIN OR TELLYOUWHEN TO CLIMB...<BR>ITS YOURS ALONE TO CHALLENGE, AT YOUR OWN PACE AND TIME"<P>How true. PSSSSSSSSSSS..........you can run from your problems but you can't hide
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and that is what iam faceing....i should have faced the music then, and now,,,the mountain seems more omnious than before
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<P>Love ya all......btw..... i am still mercy.. hehehe...<P>
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God Bless