All of the sudden I am so ANGRY! I am angry that he did this, I am angry that now I have to live with this for the rest of my life, everything. I am just plain pissed off about everything to do with the A right now.<P>Why does this happen and what do I do to channel this negative energy elsewhere???!!!<P>HELP!

Have you tired writing a journal. It halped me. I still get all pissed off and when I do I write. I also come here to the forum to talk and let frustration out. I just keep telling myself to calm down and be positive. There isn't much else you can do. hope you feel better and anger is perfectly natural. I've been there and will more than likly return. Just don't do anything destructive or call your WS and LB. just hang in there and it will pass.

You've heard of the stages of grief? Well, now you are experiencing them...and anger is a legitimate step in the grief process. Don't bury it, do what you can to figure out what is triggering it.<P>Writing it down is great advice. Set aside half an hour or so that you can be absolutely alone. Write down everything you know up to this point that has hurt, angered or ruffled your feathers. I don't know your personal beliefs, but at this point I just yell & wail to God...until I'm done. Then I take each thing and forgive it and release it--ripping, stomping or burning the paper feels good to me. Those things are now in your past. You won't immediately forget them, sometimes it feels like you didn't even forgive them. If your spouse hasn't asked for forgiveness, you don't even have to tell him .<P>Unforgiveness and anger are very closely related. Unresolved anger leads to bitterness and depression (anger turned inward) so working through this is really for you, so that you can go forward to your future without bitterness.<P>You may discover pools of anger, even bitterness later...things you didn't realize how much had hurt or things that just have a long hook, and you can continue to take care of those emotions.<P>Will your H go to counseling? It helped us tremendously, and we've both gone alone when the other wouldn't for one reason or another. Most counselors have some kind of anger management ideas that can help.<P>Also, when your anger is active, physical activity helps process the fight or flight body chemicals, a long walk, workout of any kind, punching pillows--don't underestimate the value of hitting something (not your spouse of course).

well..i just act like a two year old...but i m ake sure no one is home. I scream yell... pray scream some more. jump up and down stomp my feet. it doesnt change anythign.,just vetns my anger!!!<P>mercy

Being the BS is a terrible thing. I bounce around from anger to happiness daily. Up and down, around and around... over and over.<P>I find distractions are very helpful to keep me balanced. Most of mine include friends, tv, reading and this board. <P>Just keep talking to someone, God, friends.. anyone who will hear you. Get it out.. yell it, scream it, whisper it.. but make sure it gets out.<P>This is an EVIL thing that has been done to you.. you deserve to be angry and downright pissed. So get it out.<P>Then turn inward and reflect on how to make things better.<P>Good Luck!<P>K<P>