Some quick background, my wife had an affair for 1 year. I found out about 3 months ago and we are trying to recover.<P>My problem is that during sex I can pleasure her no problem and as long as I stimulate my self to an erection we can have intercourse. The problem is as soon as she trys to touch me in anyway sexually I get images of her with the OM and I lose my erection. I am having a hard time forcing these images out of my head and she has stopped having sex with me because she thinks I am not attracted to her anymore.<P>Has any one else been thru this? How do you get over it? Or is it just a matter of time?<P>I am attracted to my wife and she is very attractive and sexy. I have been on the infidelity diet and have lost 40 lbs, and I actually look pretty good now.

imafool2,<P>My recommendation is very simple. Cut out your post to us and give it to your W. I think she will understand. I would offer one other piece of advice, and you can pass this along to your W as well.<P>Practice makes perfect. <P>Keep practicing, with both of you on the same page, I think you will find that the images will slowly disappear. <P>God Bless,<P>JL

Have the same problem. Go to your Dr.. Viagra IS the answer. You will be amazed.

Just Learning - Thanks for the advice. I didn't show her the post but I did approach her on Sunday about my little problem. Turns out she wasn't worried about my lack of performance. Previously when I said she was going to have to try pleasuring me more often for me to get over this mental problem, she thought I meant I wanted sex 7 days a week. What I meant was that IF we do have sex it would be easier for me if she touched me everytime instead of every 30th time like it has been. <P>So because of this little misunderstanding she blew up at me and said I was only being nice to her (meeting her EN's) because I wanted to have sex with her. Well I didn't take this very well. I got very angry and told her I couldn't beleive that she didn't see I was trying to build a better marriage and relationship with her. I told her I am not the OM and am not strictly being nice to her just to get in her pants. I don't appreciate being included in that company and told her she better open her eyes and look at the whole picture. I am not ONLY trying to meet her sexual need but all the other needs from MB's also.<P>I think we may have had a breakthrough. I think she finally sees what I have been trying to do and isn't suspicious of my intentions anymore.<P>We have had a great couple of days since Sunday and actually had the best sex of our marriage last night.<P>I think the recovery has made one giant step forward.<P>Thank God for this forum. Without it I don't think I would have been able to make the proper steps to recover from this affair. What did people do before the internet? Ann Landers maybe? She hardly compares to the advice available here. I have actually been reading everything here for the last 3 months but have only worked up the nerve to start posting. Thank all of you for the good advice in all the posts here and keep up the good work. I hope someday I can help someone get through this painfull experience.<P>A2timer - As you can see I may not be needing the Viagra just yet. Thanks for the advice though.<P>[This message has been edited by imafool2 (edited March 06, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by imafool2 (edited March 06, 2001).]