My wife unenthusiastically invited me for breakfast yesterday for this morning. Actually, my son did it with my wife in the background, but I think she said it first. So, turns out she was a royal bi*(& and acted like I wasn't there. Why invite me? Now, she called me at work today and said "sorry to bother you....bla bla bla". Then asked if I want to come to her place for breakfast tomorrow at 7:30 or 8:00 AM. I first said I thought I would go, but said I'm not sure so I'll call in the morning. I just got thinking about this morning and how I left the restaurant thinking "why did I go?".<P>She is in another nasty mood the past few days. I was thinking of going out tonight and having some fun with a couple of friends. That would be rare for me. Maybe I don't want to get up early?!?<P>She returns the kids tomorrow at 11:30 AM, so I have them starting then.<P>I think OM is visiting his parents this weekend. Otherwise I'd probably not receive 2 invitations. I know the general perception is sometimes to take them up on any opportunity to see them, but I'm a bit fed up with her moods. I'm experiencing much the same as WAT.<P>What do you think? Am I bad if I don't go?<P>She told me I looked like sh*& this morning. I've been working 15 hour days this week for a deadline. Guess that did it!<p>[This message has been edited by Rick37 (edited March 03, 2001).]

I would have suggested that you go if her attitude was upbeat and positive. If her attitude was negative and unenthusiastic that I would say do what you wish that pleases you for a change. You did not need to receive insults from her. When she realizes that common courtesy is important and has consequences, then hopefully she will act better towards you. In short, go or not go based on what makes you happy for your own enjoyment since God knows you deserve it.

Rick,<P>I think even in Plan A there is room to take care of yourself and it certainly sounds like your reserves are low enough at this point that you are entitled to politely decline her invitation if that is what you want. It doesn't sound like breakfast today made you much headway anyway because of her moods so give yourself permission to take a break. You saw your kids today and will see them again tomorrow so they don't really weigh into this decision.<P>I feel like I should put an asterisk by everything I post recently letting people know that my advice is probably tainted by my recent lousy experiences. I am beginning to feel like a fisherman who is very good at hooking the big one, but can't ever land it!! Maybe people are safe if I just don't give them any recovery advice.<P>Seriously though, if you don't occasionally find a way to recharge yourself in Plan A, you know you can't last. Steve Harley convinced me to stay there a while longer as well so I am in desperate need of recharging. Sleep in tomorrow and refresh yourself for your kids. At least they will appreciate your attention and energy!

Hey Rick,<BR>I guess you need to evaluate what her motives are. Would it be in your best interest to jump whenever she gets in the mood to invite you, or would it be better to maybe tell her that you appreciate the invitation, but have other plans. Someone once told me that people want what they can't have, and don't want what they see as something too easy. Maybe she needs to see you having some fun and not jumping when she wants. <P>Would she have invited you if OM was around?? Only you know that. I have started to distance myself from my WS and am letting her know that I am moving on in my life. I prefer that she be in it, but I don't need her to feel complete. I was happy before I met her and will be happy again. IMHO I would maybe tell her you have other plans and appreciate the invite, but that is is not a good time. Don't go into any details.<P>I don't know about you, but I am so tired of all this b*** sh** that it is beginning to disgust me. If I wanted to be in LA LA Land...I would have booked a trip there!<P>Have a great evening. I'm on my way to a gig and plan to play some music, drink some beers, and have a great time. I invited my WS to come, and told her that it would mean a lot to me if she did, but I doubt I see her. She probably has more important things to do tonight if you know what I mean!!!<P>Mike

Rick,<P>I agree with Exhausted (I feel I say that all the time). As breafast today didn't give you any good feeling, bow out for tomorrow (it is hard to write the today/tomorro bit as i am already in tomorrow). Enjoy your last little bit of down time before the kids come back. <P>when they do, go out & do something fun with them, doesn't have to be special, just something silly. If you happen to have a hot air popcorn popper, make popcorn with out the top on & let the kids chase it all over the house. It will make a mess but they love doing it. Have a contest to see how much they can catch in a bowl then settle down to watch a new video. To clean up you could let them have races with the dust buster to see who could clean up the most in a time period.<P>

Sorry to steal your post a bit Rick, but Sing I love the idea about the popcorn!!! I think we'll do it this week.

Rick-Not too many votes for you to go, huh?? I agree w/everyone here. . go out tonight & have a GREAT time (if you're not out already), then sleep it off in the morning. Sometimes there's nothing like beers & friends, and if you're going to look like sh&% it may as well be in your own house!!!<P>Have fun!!

Rick, I don't know about breakfast, but I definately think you should go out tonight and have some fun with your friends. Someone, Lora I think, posted advice from another website to WAT that women never leave men who are happy. So do things to make your happy. If you don't think that includes breakfast, then don't do it.

Thanks! I'm going to pass on the breakfast this time. I appreciate all the quick responses. Have a good night everyone.

Hi Rick! <BR>I hope that things go well today! That idea that Sing came up with is awesome!!!! Knowing my kids they will have a great time. My daughter has a 5th birthday party this Saturday and I am going to do that with 5 little girls and have a contest with it. What a great idea.<P>I play in a band and we had a gig last night. It's been 10 years since I did this formally. It was so fun to get back to playing music. I had such a good time seeing all my old friends who came out to hear us. I drank a bit too much, but what the heck...a good time was had by all. I can't believe I gave that up! My point being, it is time to do the things that make US happy. I invited my wife to come hear me play. She love music and always loved it when I played at home. She never showed up...to busy doing something else I suppose! Make yourself happy and take care of those kids. I am finding out that that is all I can do also. <P>Have a great day...I know I will!!!!<P>Mike

Mike,<P>You are on the right track (no pun intended). Keep doing that and your wife will show up someday. But more importantly, we need to take care of ourselves.<P>I went to see a band last night, and had a "few drinks" too. Waiting for the kids to show up in an hour. Didn't go for breakfast today. Have a good day!