I went and saw my lawyer today regarding the D paperwork H sent me last week. We will try to cut it down to a dissolution-I wish I did not have to do this but I have no choice. I wish there was one last attempt I could do to try and get my H back but it seems hopeless. Plan A did not work and Plan B has not worked, I've prayed, gone to cunseling, changed myself inside and out and tried my best. My lawyer said I have given this 90% effort and my H could not even come thru with 10%. I wonder how much effort he will and has put into this new relationship. My lawyer also said at least I know now how my H would turn out instead of several years down the road where I could be 36 with 3 kids like OW. He said its time to start worrying about me and stop worrying about H so much. Thats hard for me to do. Someone tell me he is making a mistake and their relationship will not last much longer (its been going stong for 4 months now)... Any encouragement is really WELCOMED here!!!!!

TRS ~ Bless your heart, you have done everything that you can. There reaches a point when you have to take care of yourself! Keep trying with Plan A/B, whichever you are on right now however, realize that he may not come around for some time (they may go strong for months), if ever, and that you need to get on with your life the best you can. Continue your efforts with him when you can, just don't let him be all that keeps you going. Go to the bookstore, find a good book. Buy a nice bottle of wine, fix yourself a nice dinner, have a manicure. Be good to yourself! <P>[QUOTE]Originally posted by Trs:<BR> I wish there was one last attempt I could do to try and get my H back but it seems hopeless. Plan A did not work and Plan B has not worked, I've prayed, gone to cunseling, changed myself inside and out and tried my best. My lawyer said I have given this 90% effort and my H could not even come thru with 10%. <BR><P>------------------<BR>Blessings, RavensLady

TRS,<P>I feel your despair. i feel in a similar situation. Know my H is leaving because he is convinced that he will be happier with someone else. There is someone out there that will give him butterflies for evermore!! He is so unwilling to work on problems we are having and I could go on and on but it basically boils down lack of respect for me and the world in general. there is only one way that is his way and if you don't agree than you are obvoiusly and idiot. The mistakes that our H have made with us they will eventually make with the other person as they see no wrong on their part. I read somewhere that if the behavior that ruined the marriage is not delt with any subsequent realtionships come to the same end only at a more rapid pace because their behavior is even more ingrained in them. This is why divorce is so overated. It allows you to escape without dealing with problems and then they just keep repeating themselves with the next person.<P>Hope this helps. You are not alone!!!

Hey TRS,<BR>I had the same type of meeting with my lawyer last week. My W has the idea that there is nothing we can do to put our marriage back together because she is in love with someone else, and not me. So therefore any problems we have make no difference, because she is not "in love" with me. That is why I got D papers last week...but it has "nothing to do" with the other man!<P>I am so sorry that you have to go through this, but I have found that it does get easier. I have two things to thank my W for. THe first is my 2 lovely kids...they are awesome. THe second is that I realize now that I can love unconditionally. If I can still love my wife after all the s*** that she has put me through for the last 6 months...then I think I would call that unconditional love. Not many people can say that.<P>I know my W and most other WS can't because when things got tough...they ran to someone else rather that talk with their spouse and deal with the problem. Keep your head held high as I am doing and know that you have done your best and that without any help from the other side, it is quite hard to hold things together. There are many wonderful people out there who will appreciate the awesome things that we can bring to a marriage. Our spouses will be the big losers in all of this...believe me!<P>God bless...<BR>Mike<P>------------------<BR>the probability of someone watching you...is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions