Found out yesterday that my H lied to his lawyer and my lawyer had to inform H's lawyer of some details H did not provide-like OW and such....I know H will get the call from his lawyer today and I feel soooo uneasy even though I did not do anything. In some ways I feel like saying "finally he is getting what he deserves" but than I say"I still love the old H and this may be a huge lb" Augh!! I feel defensive-H is the one who filed against me and H is having the A, I have been trying soooo hard to keep the marriage together. (Alos, OW was sighted lat night with another man??? not sure on this it may just be gossip or it may have been someone else-interesting concept though if it was her) Thanks for listening!!!

If this is going to go through anyway why don't you counterfile on grounds of adultery? That may give him a wake up call. I know at least in my state you can even name the OW in the court documents.

Fairydust,<P>H made a mistake and provided proof last week (address change on bills-left the statement on table OOPS!!!) My lawyer has a copy but I would get nothing from trying to drag this out and I just can't see wasting the time in money and court-everyone knows or will know what their intentions were now. H is still pretty stubborn about our marriage being worked out acoording to sources. I am getting to the point where life looks easier and better without him. He doesn't look very appealing in my eyes anymore. He has much pain in front of him in some ways I do not want him to go thru it because I still Love the old him (I think????) but in a way I feel he deserves what is coming to him.....I feel guilty for that feeling but than I feel H hasn't felt any guilt for anything he has done to me...we will see.....In some ways I wonder if we could ever get back together after all is done and said (Fil believes this will happen) but I wonder if by than it will be too late for H. H has told people he is taking a stand and will follow thru with this. Fairydust sometimes I wish I was as strong as your sister-walk out and go on with life and than I wish I was as strong as you -keep trying and win him back...It seems like I am caught in the middle and I feel weak for that...you have given me encouragement and hope and your sisters story has also done this...<P>[This message has been edited by Trs (edited March 06, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by Trs (edited March 06, 2001).]

It's a wide range of emotions, isn't it. I have felt all the feelings that you are feeling at one point in time or another and it is just really hard to see clearly. I really empathize with "I am getting to the point where life looks easier and better without him. He doesn't look very appealing in my eyes anymore."<P>Hang in there and when in doubt, sleep on it it you have the time. I would think that if you H was not forthcoming with some information, that would make things better for you. My little evil side says, "I hope somehow he does get what he deserves" and unfortunately I am starting to believe that that happens when it is too late for us...when he realizes what he is giving up.<P>I am so sorry you are going through this pain.<P>-LL

Hi TRS,<BR>It seems as though we are in the same situation. The only difference that I can see is that it's my W. She is determined that our marriage was only meant to last 10 years. I didn't know that when you get married, you can choose the length of time. Must have been a new concept back then that I forgot to read up on!<P>As I git further intop this, I am coming to the conclusion that I don't really like the person that she has become and would be better off without her if things don't change. I love her, want her back, but not under these circumstances. I don't know how to stop this divorce, so I don't have a choice in the matter. I don't even know if I would want her back if she decided that she wanted to come home. As far as I am concerned, trust and truthfulness are the two most important factors in a healthy marriage. I don't know if I could have either one of them with her again. <P>I know where you are and I can really understand your dilemma. I know from reading your posts that you will so the right thing. All of the WS's seem to want to do everything for them! It's about time we did something for us. Take care of you...you deserve to be happy.<BR>Mike

LL and Mike,<P>You have giving me insight by letting know once again I am not alone in this battle. Family and friends think H will call me up tonight ranting and raving but I plan on taking the call to show that even under the circumstances I will not LB. I can remain strong. A good friend told me that forever for some people only means 10 years or 15 years. To others it means forever-Mike your wife seems to be in the first category. We all deserve to be happy at times. My H is a very different man, one that family and friends do not recognize. I think its sad when relationships are suppose to improve you and all this has done is made my H into a liar, its made him sneaky and mean (spoken by his aunt!!!). I will of course take care of myself-my dogs and I are going to be just fine!!!!!

Dear Trs,<P>You are going through so much and there is no magic fix. You will come out of this a better and stronger person, who knows how you should be treated. Retain your dignity and respect for yourself. In the long run those are the important things in life. True love goes hand in hand the dignity, respect and loyalty. Those who can not figure this out will end up without friends or family. <P>This is not where you are headed. You are a great person who has given much to your family and relationship. During this hard time, hold your head up so that you never lose sight of your goals. <P>We will be there for you to help keep you steady. While we can not take the place of a mate, please allow us to be your support.<P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>