<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>

OOOO - I haven't had this sensation, but I do have one that's probably similar. I find myself looking at women more like I did before I was married (unless I already know them as friends or co-workers)i.e., wondering if they're attached, etc. Is it because I'm losing love for my wife? Maybe, but I still feel a strong love and committment to her. Maybe it's a natural longing for the affection and attention that I'm not currently getting. I didn't really think about it too much until I read your post. But it could be a natural course for you since you're situation is much further along than mine. As long as your kids are there, maybe you shouldn't dwell on it. Think of yourself as normal (unless you were listening to Jimi Hendrix - which could cause any thing to pop into your head).<P>Dave

Dear OOOO & WAT,<P>I don't think this is totally off topic but today I found myself attracted to a guy at work, he is not married but is in a committed relationship, so I came home, have kicked myself in the b**t and had a cold shower.<P>I don't think that you have lost your feelings for your wives. It is just that after such a long period of time it seems natural to yearn for something better than our present existence. <P>OOOO - You are creating a fantasy as much as your wife did. The difference is that one is tangible and the other is not.<P>Does that make any sense? It will take a lot longer for your wife to fade completely. What you're experiencing is best defined as a yearning for happiness.<P>WAT - If I were a guy I would probably be looking at women differently too. Your needs are not being met and you are beginning to look outside. I think that is exactly what is happening to me (it has been a long year) but I think although you are yearning you need to balance that with the question are you really ready?<P>Hope

OOOO - Never had the dream thing, but I certainly daydream about a "normal" happy life once in a while. <P>WH - I definitely have a case of the look and wonders. I have a couple other questions I ask myself while looking like, Wonder if she treats her SO like a dung or Wonder if I would be good enough for her to be happy with? I attribute it to longing for affection & admiration. My wife has recently been upgraded her efforts in these areas to a "pathetic" level, but it's a huge increase from the 1.5 years that it was non-existent. My single friends have a term for this being more aware of the other females in the area as "your radar is on" It seems some days the radar is cranked all the way up and others days barley noticeable.<BR>