--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<BR>Heres the first issue. My H got a offer to move within his company to a different state. He also has a chance to pursue a new line of work that would keep us where we are.<BR>My side: I have lived in the same state since I was 2 and have ALWAYS wanted to move. My H's company has often asked him if he would relocate and nothing has ever been offered till now. He will get an increase, the move will bring us to a state that has a lower cost of living, it will be WARM thoughout the year, (or for the most part,) and we would be further away from her and the OC. The only downside in moving is that we will be over 8 hours away and I do lean on my support network alot(family and friends). The new job that would keep us here I'm not really comfortable with it because it is more dangerous and it would cut his pay for a short time (a few years). (But this is something he has wanted for a long time and I feel guilty in not supporting him in taking it right now.)<P>His side: The new job to keep us here is something he has wanted to do and has been trying for 10 years to achieve it. It is a great opportunity for him. If it comes thru we will probally stay, if not, we will go. He has no issues with moving. <P>We can find out about the new job anytime from now until April. Until then we are assuming we are moving...so I sit and have to wait. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high because I feel he has a good chance to get the job where we are now. And yes I am a little nervous as to if this is a good time to do this, when we are in the middle of this situation. Has anyone else moved during recovery, am I crazy for really wanting this? will it make recovery that much harder? I look at it as a chance for a new begining.<P>

NGU<P>I think that moving is just what the doctor ordered. I would love to do that with my H. New job, new state, with the chance of starting on a clean slate. I think you should support your H's decision, but be SURE he knows your views. You do not have to be so abiding now. You have rights in your marriage, and it is time to stick up for what you want in the marriage and for your future. POJA. Need I say more?<P>Beth<P>PS: Just so you know, I did not get the opportunity to tell my H my views when we moved to AZ. He took the move, and we went. Then when he got the promotion(3 years later) that led to his "travelling job," he did not even bother to ask me, he took that too, and never even told me. He just said "I got a raise, it is a company car, what color do you want?"<P>Take this opportunity, I have regretted not speaking up for my future ever since(8 1/2 years.) And if I do get a D, I am moving home!

Burned Spouse: It's funny, I struggled with whether I should tell him my feelings because I didn't want to influence his decision in any way. If he does get the job offer for here I didn't want him to turn down the offer because of anything I said. I said this to my therapist and she said that I should tell him, so I have and he knows EXACTLY how I feel. I do feel better that he knows how I feel and my desire to move. I guess its now we will wait and see...

My H moved about a month after our separation. We stayed in contact and had great weekend visits. I moved here in October. I think for him having a "clean slate" helped him. I like where we live and really don't have any issues, other than like you I miss my support network. My entire family is now 6 hours away. Good luck.

Hi,<P>Granted I'm chiming in without knowing your whole story so I'm sorry if I say stuff that doesn't make sense to you.<P>We moved to another state. At the time I also looked at it as a new start. At the time I also didn't know H was messing around behind my back, only that he was distant and treating me not so good. He seemed to want to move too. Maybe he didn't like what he was doing and looked at it as a way to end it. Well we moved to another state only to have him find another person at his new job to mess around with. So here I sit in Michigan, with nobody around, we're divorced now and I have to jump thru major hoops to be able to go back home to where my support is - and he could fight to keep me and the boys here! I don't know yet if he will fight me, but just the thought that I could be trapped here now where I have no one is killing me.<P>So, I'd check the state you're moving to first and see if there could be any major problems with you going back home if the **** hits the fan again. Not that you want to expect that to happen, but you never know.<P>Take care.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Kathy