ok, I am back again for the 2nd time tonite. Just got off the phone awhile ago with my exhusb.. He just replace my computer the other day with a better one. I mentioned to him that I was sure that when he got my old computer back to his house, he was going to be checking out my emails and whatever else. He said he was not. I did not care anyway because I have nothing to hide. He could have looked while I was standing there if he wanted. He waited until last night and read them all. So dang nosy. He read one where I sent a message to a male friend that I met on my bowling league last summer. Very nice Christian man. This man started to have feelings for me, and meanwhile I still loved my exhusb so I withdrew from talking much with him. Did not want to lead him on. But my ex read his email and realized how the other man felt for me. I never hid that fact. What fires me up is the fact that I make sure to always be honest with my ex even as of today, but he still cant return the same. He tells me that he does not even know what he wants out of life, no goals, no wants or anything. The only thing he knows is that he has to get up to go to work so he can pay the bills. I mentioned that I still have alot of the same goals as when we were still together, but they will be harder to achieve on my own. My other wants and goals including him, and right now I dont have him so I cant fret over that.<P>I know I want to be with him, but kind of doubt the feeling is mutual. I know he loves me, but there is no trust. I feel he is only around me much of the time for lonliness reasons. I wish to God he would get his act together, and especially learn to be honest with me. He admits he doesnt understand he is the way he is. <P>Well I just had to vent, that phone call was a bit discouraging for me. Always we have a good day or moment, then there just has to be a bad day or moment to follow.