My WS lied to me last night about who he was talking to on phone, it was other woman, which I suspected. He made it sound like he was talking to a buddy and then he had to leave. Didn't come home the rest of night. <P>I used redial next am to call # and OW answered as she just woke up. Probably thought it was my H. Anyway, Now I know he is lying about his breakup and I want to KIL KILL< Scream, throw his stuff out window and do all sorts of love busters. <P>I think he is trying to convince me that they are over, being nice to me and all, so we can have a "nice" divorce.<BR>What kind of crap is that. F888 him. I am here taking care of his kids. OH, just found a note in his stuff from OW D thanking my H for taking her and 2 friends out to lunch. Oh, how nice for them. What about his kids. This man is sick and I want to confront, scream at him but I don't know if I should.<P>OH God, please help me.<P>Hopelessmom

My best advice is to call and get an appt for phone counseling with Steve or Jennifer Harley asap. You do not have the time and energy to keep on at this forever...you need to be sure your efforts are as effective as possible.<P>I am so sorry you are going thru all of this.<P>Hugs--<P>Kathi

Dear Hope, <P>You are smart to come here and vent. The next step is to be productive with your adrenilane rush. Take a deep breathe. I have been there. It is painful. Get in control of your thoughts. If you can make a phone call to your counselor, the Harleys or someone that can take you out for a lunch, quick walk or something, go do it. <P>At the very least, keep posting here. All the the pent up feelings you are having, spill it here. It is ok. <P>Hey, this is making me anxious also, that is ok. Write a letter to your spouse, then set it aside. Write back in a few minutes. I am at work but can check for responses. Here is my e-mail address: lhmkem@yahoo.com If you send me a message, I can give you my phone #. Ok?? <P>L.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Orchid (edited March 09, 2001).]

I am under control at the moment. I screamed and cried and unfortunately my kids saw me. Theys don't know why I am crying other than I am sad. My middle D was crying she wants Daddy, etc. I said, You miss daddy. "Why is he never here. How come he has to work so much. Well, I felt so terrible for her I told her that Daddy doesn't like Mommy and that he loves them adn this is between mommy and Dadddy. Why doesn't Daddy like you Mommy. I said I don't know why.<P>I am free this weekend so I am out of house, Took kids to friends and called H totell him to pick them up there. I just can't look at him right now becasue I am a roller coaster of emotions and i don't know what I would do if I see him now.<P>I am pissed at the world.(not really). I am pissed off at all the immoral people who do this kind of crap to their "loved' ones and don't seem to care about all the pain for everyone involved. Not just between H and W, but kids, friends, extened family, etc. I just SUCKS.<BR>Little did I know that I would marry a man that I NEVER,EVER thought he would do such a thing (I could imagine him doing other bad things) after having 3 small children. We have had friends who split up d/t A and he was repulsed by the wifes afffair. <P>Right now I HATE HIM FOR THE PAIN HE HAS CAUSED ME AND THE PAIN YET TO COME FOR MY CHILDREN all so he can have his p333is pampered.<P>I need to take a walk.<BR>\<BR>Orchid, thanks I'll try and contact you. I am a new comptuter person<P>Hopelessmom

Hi,<P>Got your message. Glad to hear you are in control. Your feelings are familar. I will be home this weekend. I have a little one also (6 years old). You be surprised at the support/love they will provide knowing you are in pain. Do not exclude them from your healing process. It is kind of funny, these little ones know by instinct how to help us. Even if it is a simple hug or I love you mom. It is soothing to our troubled souls. When they come through for us in these ways, our H's issues shrink down to a managable size that we are able to handle. <P>I am in CA so I think I am about 3hrs behind your time. <P>Take Care,<P>L.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Orchid (edited March 10, 2001).]

Dear Hope,<P>Just checking in to see how you are doing. <P>L.

Thanks for checking on me. I am on the way to church now.<P>Last night had dinner with agroup of "new friends" all the divorcing, divorced person. 5 girls and 1 guy. We had a lot of fun.<P>I posted this somewhere else, H called Fri nite to cell phone and said about bringing kids to ow#2 house "no this is not another (her namee#1). Relax. I appreciate your patience. He said it in a nice way, I think.<P>The highs and lows. <P>Hopelessmom