Well, it has been a week since I went to Plan B. It is hard but each day it gets a bit easier. I spent all day today cleaning up friends garden - and really enjoyed it !!<P>There is something bothering me. I did 4 months of Plan A. Then went to a hybrid PlanA/Plan B over Christmas and January. I moved out of home in December. During Feb H and I started seeing each other again. We talked about us. He said he would try and end all contact with Ow - "but she is persistent that we should remain friends". I thought we were doing fine. We even spent a w/end at home together - in separate rooms. But we talked some more and seemed to be getting somewhere. Then two weeks ago I knew we had taken a bwd step - nevertheless, we had had a good talk about how difficult recovery would be for us after so much "has been said and done"; how badly he feels about what he has done -"riddled with guilt" = we even talked about withdrawal where I was understanding and compassionate (genuinely so!). I enthusiastically proposed an o/seas trip for his birthday mid year. It was when he hesitated and said "I will think about that" I became v suspicious and snooped -<BR> well, there it was 2 or 3 calls a day to OW on some days; calls made from her suburb when he said he was dining with clients; and e-mail evidence that he is already planning an o/seas trip for the time I suggested. <P>As this week has gone on I am further and further away from Plan A - I feel like going right now and confronting him with all his damn lies; I really feel like I was being used; he was willing to accept all my giving and kept on seeing OW - who must have been doing a bit of LB of her own if she knew he had gone back to seeing me - I think he really wanted all the comforts of home, a nice friendly relationship with me - which we can have with no difficulty as long as the A is not discussed = oh, and without any intimacy; although, interestingly, he had been a great deal more affectionate in the two weeks before I gave the (second) Plan B letter. There is no kindness in lying and I am so so so angry at being treated so direspectfully; I wish I had said some of these things before I left.<P>The issue now is this.Friend is due back from o/seas in two weeks and I will need to move out of his house. I need and want to go home. I have been away from it for three months. I am homesick for my own things and space; and for my garden. H has been spending 3 or 4 days a week there - the rest of the time he is interstate on business - his main office is in our home. I am going to have to tell him to move himself and his things out - which he has never done before - despite all our respective comings and goings. I just know he will want to be able to return there on occasions. it is a very comfortable house in the country in beautful and peaceful surroundings. I will talk to Jennifer about how to handle this but sure would like your thoughts and suggestions in the meantime.<P>Thanks for listening. this board is the greatest constribution to sanity that I can imagine.<P>R<P>PS - for those who know the stroy, I did not respond to the newspaper cliping. !!! And I am glad i listened to your advice.
