This is the very first time I have written anything,(not even a reply) but I read this forum almost daily looking for someone with a problem like me. Some have been similar.<P>Mine is that I have a crush on a man from work. I tease and joke with him many times during the day. He jokes with me too. But unfortunetly I seem to enjoy the attention way too much and cannot stop thinking of him. <P>To give you a little background on me. I have been married for almost 19 years. I worked with my husband for years in our family business (that my parents had owned and now my husband does) but I went back to school a couple of years ago to change careers and hopefully let us have the chance to sell our family business so we would have more time together to do fun things with the family. (we have kids) My husband decided he didn't want to sell now and it has caused me alot of guilt and anger. Because of this we went for about 2 years with hardly any communication and our marriage really suffered. I felt like I really didn't love him anymore. We started counselling last fall but the business my husband owns made it impossible to keep the appointments. But my husband has really been trying and he is wonderful, I have been trying too but my emotional connection to this other guy is too strong now and I can't let go of it although nothing has happened between us. I find myself in love with him.<P><BR>I admit I am a person who loves the attention of men(that I feel are attractive.) Although I don't really go asking for it by dressing provacative or anything. I just like to look my best and I love to tease (joking around) not sexual teasing although I could see myself getting to that point tho.<P>Do you have any advice for me on how to get over a crush that I 've had for at least 6 months that consumes my thoughts!<P>Thanks

In our teminolgy here you are having an emotional affair with this guy. If you really want to work on your marrige I would stongly reccommend telephone counseling with the Harleys. It is really more like coaching to make a plan for you and your H to follow to rebuild love and passion for each other. Phone counseling should be easier to fit into your day. And I think their techinques are a little more easy to understand and follow then tradiional couseling and going into your past for answers.<P>Lora

Lora,<BR>thank you for your reply. I do realize I am having an emotional affair, but I struggle with letting go of it. I do pray about it often but can't seem to shake it.<P>But I will check into the phone counseling.<BR>Thank you again so much.<P>I was wondering too, if anyone else has had success in dealing with a similar situation.<P><BR>luci

Yes, I think there ae many who have, you might try a post to SKM who has been through a similar situation and is now in recovery. She posts both on this board and the rcovery section.<P>Have you read the book surviving an affair? Or the main articles on this website? They deal with a very similar emotional connection. My H"s affair started the same, a friend he went out for drinks with. He is only now starting to end it and make his way abck to me... maybe.<P>Good luck to you. This board is rather slow on the weekend so dont be dissapointed if you dont get many replys... keep posting.<BR>Lora