Dear Please Help,<BR>you answered my H (mawson) post last year in April 2000. I am his W<BR>and we are now back together and in Recovery.<BR>I came across his post's by accident. I too have been reading everything. I know what i did was very wrong and i should've been able to talk to my H about my fears for our relationship, but he wouldn't talk at that stage , his answers were alway's " You know i have been on my own for years, first with the navy then with going to antartica to work. I have never interferred in what he wanted to do, he has been to Antartica twice and i was left here on my own with the children to build our dream house which turned into a nightmare. He kept telling me to get a job and finally i did and that's when i dicovered a whole new world out there and that people do talk to each other. I did put a post in in recovery last month seeking advice, as i still have day's when i'm not so sure that he wants me to be here with him. I have never and would never have even given a thought to having an A but i was so bably in need of emotional support and the OM and his family gave it to me and that's what i fell for. I never loved this OM only the support he gave me. When i left my H it nearly killed me as i needed him as never before but i also needed to be on my own to think thing's thru. While a lot of the advice given here is really great some of it should be carefully considered.<BR>After so many years not having any input from my H , he just seemed to be there all the time after i left, there were phone calls and letters and yes i did not answer any of those cause i didn't know if i went back if it would be because i really loved him or because it would be the easiest thing to do to make my life easier. So it was overkill, i couldn't handle seeing or hearing from him all the time , it just confused me even more. I asked him for no contact for a couple of weeks to make up my mind, yes i was seeing the OM everyday at work , but while i was at work that is all i did WORKED.There was no carring on at work. I wouldn't go to work just to be with this OM i needed the job and the samll amount i got paid so i could pay bills and feed the boy's ,so i was stuck in the middle. I left the OM and lost my job which i knew would happen but i couldn't stay there with him.<BR>I am now working in a different field and am happier then i have been for a long while.<BR>I Love my Husband with all my heart and would never comtemplate going thru this again , i couldn't do that to the man i Love or to myself. But i wanted to say thankyou to you Frank for your answer to H in his time of need was just so encouraging and i hope did help him alot.<BR>Just thought i would let you know what was happening with mawson<BR>Tks once again<BR>Love to all