How about this? What was one or two or the wierdest, dumbest, strange etc things your H/W said when they confessed or said they wanted a Divorce or separation?<P>The best from mine was, hold on to your pants, if I stay I want you to sign something that won't hold me responsible if I have another A!!! The Nerve. What would make him think I would take him back on those terms anyway!!! GEEEZZ

"I want a divorce because I am a bad husband and father."<BR>"I want a divorce so I won't continue hurting you because I really don't 'want' to hurt anyone". <P>Let me see, how will a divorce make him a better H and F?<BR>(even my little one asked about that statement - which his F said in front of him). <P>H has always maintained that he never wanted to hurt anyone. Guess I get to know he says that but I also get to feel the hurt that this whole A does to us. Confused? Yes. Who is confused? Not me. H is. <P>L.

Yeah what is up with that and divorce doesn't hurt.<P>I also like I'm not happy. But I'm willing to strip you of all your happiness and put our kids through a divorce create all sorts of issues and that will make me happy because then I can start over with someone new. Someone who will adore me, dote on me, always sees things my way, never question my judgement etc....<P>This is turning into a vent, sorry!!<P>Orchid, btw i have a little boy who turns 6 tomorrow. He and my D are the best. Think S knows mommy is feeling blue because he has been telling me that he thinks I'm beautiful a lot lately!! Bless their little hearts, Love em to death!!

XW, on her desire to end the marriage in the face of undeniable major strides in our lives: "I just have to do this now while times are good."<P>Or on another occasion in response to my entreaties to hang in there: "Do you want me to start cutting myself again, or kill myself?" (if I say no, then I must allow her a divorce, if I say yes, well then I guess I'm a fiend). I could go on, but these are the big ones that stick out in my mind...<p>[This message has been edited by Sisyphus (edited March 12, 2001).]

"I know that you are heartbroken now, but in 2 weeks you will feel better and you won't even care. Then we can be friends." ROFL. I never did figure out why 2 weeks was the magic cut of point at which you cease to have pain.

i've got one, tew wks had gone by after he told me about his affair, well one night he wanted to have a talk, we sat down and he said he thought he needed to get his own place but after we got the bills caughtup, of couse i got upset and i asked him to leave he got so mad, i started pulling clothes out of the dirty clothes and the washing machine. alot of words where said, then i hear the next day that i through him out in his boxer, which he had on, and that he said we would work on us and get the bills paid and see where we stood, sorry folks he did not say that. oh another one was he wants to make sure that we all were happy, ya right like all of us are including him, he is done with ow and say he can't believe he choosed her over his family. and that he didn't want to come home every night to were he would have to drink to forget the pain. as i hear and see that is all he was doing living with her.

OMG...If I repeated everything we would be here intil June!!<BR>Let me see...<BR>-You're a great father, handsome, stable, smart, but I don't want that now! <BR>-If I'm not happy then how can you be happy?<BR>-You'll get over this. I want you to be happy. In a year or two we will be the best of friends.<BR>-Why are you so angry...all I've done is be honest!<BR>-As soon as I knew the extent of my feelings, I told you about him! (Ya right...after a year of carrying on, and the only reason she came clean is because I had details)<P>I could write a book and most of you could add to it!!!<P>Mike

My favorite out of her mouth was,<P> "there was nothing in our wedding vows that said I had to stay with you forever."<P>This was before I found out about OM. This is a woman in serious denial.

another thing that was said when i was in the hospital...i want us to be the best of friends, to go places with the kids, ya right i told him that i could not be friends or be around or talk to him, his replied....as he was fuming, we have to deal with each other for 18 yrs, my replied, ya through the courts!

I'll add the lines I heard:<P>"You are a perfect father and I can't find anything wrong with you, it is just that I want someone that wants me".....well, it is quite easy to find a single guy that wants a sex toy. When will she figure that out?<P>"I sent you signals....you should have known I was not happy"...damn, forgot to buy a decoder...if only I had known.<P>Nov. 99 while away with 8 women, called me about 6 times in two days "This is driving me crazy...all these women just badger their husbands....THANK GOD I MARRIED YOU. I just talk to the owner of the bed and breakfast while the rest complain. I can't wait to get home"....all these things seem rather eerie now....perhaps the ladies were really starting a cult that weekend...and they won. June '00, suddenly I'm not what she wants.<P>1.5 months before sudden requirement to end marriage, we watched "The Story of Us", and I said "that is us". She said "that is not us!"....maybe she meant that we were worse.....or maybe she thought that I literally meant that we were the actors in the movie...silly me.<P>Two years before we split, when her friend left her H for another man...."...I will never speak to her again. You always work it out for the sake of the kids".<P>This one must be common - "You are too good for me, you deserve better"....but wait a second, she says she did not do anything wrong. Hhhmmmmmm, whatever.<P>I'm sure I forgot much of this stuff.<P>

My STBXW had alot to say. She still does. She told me that she only stuck around for the whole relationship because she didn't want to lose contact with my D. She never was happy with the relationship or the marriage. I was alos told that I was a good person and that she loved me for who I was, but was not in love with me. Or my personal favorite: "I kept telling myself to run away at our wedding." Strange what they will say when they want somebody else.<P>Griz<P>------------------<BR>Sometimes the hardest journeys in life are not the ones you embark on alone, but those that you choose to travel together.

It's been a long time ....... and we're recovered ... but this one I will never forget. We were discussing two of our neighbors who were having an obvious affair (seen kissing in the bushes, etc) and I turned to my H and said;<P>"If you ever have a one-night-stand, wear a condom and never tell me... BUT, if you ever fall in love and start an affair tell me right away to spare me the lies"...<P>... his answer; "I would NEVER do that to you!" said with an indignant tone! (He was knee deep in his own affair and I just didn't know it yet!!!) ..... so much fog we must have been in San Francisco!<P>If ever again I hear him say: "I would NEVER do that to you" .... he better be wearing armor and a pair of running shoes!<P>------------------<BR>~*~*Yesterday~*~*<BR>all my problems seemed so far away~*<p>[This message has been edited by Yesterday (edited March 12, 2001).]

My H told me he felt sorry for OW because her H didn't appreciate her and he had A's on her.<P>For a complete change in his belief, he said "what Clinton does in his personal life is nobody else's business".<P>H and OW thought I called her H and accused me of ruining her marriage (I guess her sleeping around didn't).<P>My H said "our marriage vows didn't say we couldn't sleep with anyone else". After I brought out the wedding video to prove it he said "that don't count, I didn't know what forsaking all others meant".<P>I could go on and on.<P>By the way, we ARE recovering.

Ok, here is another one. H said: "If you didn't get so upset when you found out and if you didn't e-mail her, I'd probably be back by now." He said he felt he needed to stay with her and comfort her in her time of distress since he thought she was delicate. Delicate my foot, this is the vulgar queen. She was anything but delicate. <P>What? It is my fault that this A is still going on? I beg to differ. <P>1.He was caught (voicemail message from OW). <BR>2.I then heard a woman's voice 'moaning in bed, when I called H on his cell phone.' <P>I am not allowed to be in shock? OW accused me of yelling on the phone. I did raise my voice. Why? I was trying to talk to the 'sleeping sl..' and H said she was hard of hearing. A woman 6+ years older than H and a bit older than me, who is hard of hearing. Not sure what other body parts are not functioning properly. <P>What am I suppose to think? In my mind, there was this mental picture of an old Chinese lady with a hearing aid. Ok maybe not that bad, but hey I did not have much of a description to go on. <P>The e-mail was sent when I thought the only insane one was H. I stupidly did not even think the OW was psyco. I actually thought the OW was a misinformed person. Little did I know I was dealing with Dr. Jekyl and Mrs. Hyde.<P>

LOL LOL LOL!!!!<P><BR>What am I suppose to think? In my mind, there was this mental picture of an old Chinese lady with a hearing aid. Ok maybe not that bad, but hey I did not have much of a description to go on. <P>You are the greatest!<BR> <BR>

A couple of my favorites from my wife who still won't admit the affair.<P>"I've only lied to you once." That, in itself, was the second?<P>After she became aware of neighborhood talk and doctor's office talk where she worked: "I can't stand all these lies!!!"<P>I observed her meeting OM getting off his flight at the airport and seeing them holding hands and kissing going down the escalator. Later, when I confronted her about this she looked me straight in the eye and said, "It didn't happen!"<P>WAT