Yep, H has been going to CW's establishment....but I knew that, didn't I? <P>Good news, though, is that he was ticked off at her. It turns out that her business is required to have a special gadget attached to some of its fixtures. We have that gadget, but when H told her how much it cost, she started saying that it was too much, that she'd go to (insert bs. name here), blah, blah. H said he started to tell her that he guessed we could go elsewhere for what we've been buying from her on a regular basis.<P>So, does it sound like he could be over her? This is the first time he's mentioned her to me in over a year (he used to talk about her all the time...gag!).<P>Anyway, I didn't LB about his going there, but I didn't have much to say, either (afraid I WOULD LB). Or could it be that he's just ticked off at her TODAY?<P>BTW, the affection is slacking off, along with the really GOOD sex life. The other night in bed, he rolled over; and, when his hand touched my leg, he yanked it away so fast, you'd have thought he got burned. He still doesn't like kissing me. I've checked for bad breath...kids say my breath is fine, especially since I quit smoking....and you know that your kids don't lie to their parents about something like that! <P>I'm telling you, I'm so frustrated, I'm thinking about that touchy-feely guy at the bar again.! Don't worry....won't DO anything...just fantacizing a little!<BR>

Well, I'm back in full-fledge suspicious mode.<P>I went to our son's house last night to help D-i-L with something, but they had forgotten I was coming and weren't home. I left at 5:30 and H had left at 5:00 saying that he was going to a friend's house to discuss the upcoming trip we have planned. I got home at 7:15. H wasn't home. I ate a sandwich and waited until almost 8:00, then did a drive-by at the friend's house. H wasn't there; friend's girlfriend was, so I doubt if H stayed there very long. I drove around a while and then went home around 8:30. H had just arrived and wasn't even in the house yet. I didn't ask where he had been and he didn't volunteer the information.<P>Another thing...he initiated lovemaking last night, but couldn't get aroused. That hasn't happened in a very long time. Is it my imagination or is there a difference in how a man feels (to a woman) when he's unable to become aroused due to having already had sex or just plain unable to become aroused?<P>One good thing, though...he made the remark that he didn't think he was going to be able to "get up" or that it might be a while (advance knowledge??). At that point, all he had done was give me a few pecks and put his arm around my shoulder, while I was doing all the work. I told H that he could fill in the time. He asked, "What do you mean?" I said, "Well, you're not the only person in this bed." So, he did make more effort in regard to pleasing me...and did. <P>Just wish these darned suspicions weren't in the way!<P>Today, I find myself getting angrier over his lack of respect for my feelings (in regard to going around CW). I don't know if his telling me that she ticked him off is designed to lessen my suspicions or to test my reaction to his going there so he can keep it up. I do know one thing...I am sorely tempted to go out to the bar. I've only been out there twice since he asked me not to go there (when he got mad at the owner's wife who was bartending). Once when I was really mad, and the second time was for a charity dinner that he said he didn't object to my attending, since the owner's wife isn't bartending anymore (her general hatefulness was costing them business).<P>I just think that 3 years of really trying to work on our marriage, while he makes it plain that I am not a priority in his life, is getting to me. That's on top of the previous 12 years of lying about the STD Tramp.<P>Maybe I just need to get away.<BR>