LL-thanks so much for the lyrics (if you read my post asking about this song, you'll see that I needed them!!).<P>Thanks also to everyone else who responded to my other posts!<P>So I'm just wondering how that Lifehouse band got into my heart, cuz the words are so fitting. To me they mean doing what you believe in, what you believe in your heart is right, they mean believeing in him, in us. They mean not giving up. There was a post I read a while ago & I thought that I saved it to my computer, but I didn't. . can't even remember who it was from but this person was saying something about making a promise (when they got married) and that promise was, if we ever have problems I promise you I will do my best to fix them. If my best doesn't work, I promise you I will try again, and again and I'll keep trying until it's fixed. Even if I'm trying all by myself. It was really meaningful to me & gave me hope & strength.<P>Over the weekend when I was helping him move this song came on & I was kind of tapping his leg to some of the words. Especially the part that says "I'm standing here until you make me move" - I told him he can't, there's nothing he can do to make me move and that I'm never letting go of him. He told me that he thinks it's our new song.<P>He also told me OW called him last night, he said he wishes he didn't give her his #. It's well on it's way to being done though. I feel it, I know it. I just thanked him for telling me and we moved on to talking about something else.<P>I've got to wake up the girls for school, I've already been on here longer than I should have been this morning!!<BR>

Bitsy -<P>I just wanted to say that I read your other posts, and I'm glad that you found the lyrics to the song you were looking for. It's strange how songs that you always hear playing on the radio take on a new meaning after you go through something like this.<P>I was at a wedding this past weekend and nearly broke into tears when I heard Elvis Presley singing "You were always on my mind." There's a part in it that goes "Maybe I didn't love you quite as good as I should have - - but you were always on my mind. . ." Damn, now, I'm about ready to cry again. I still can't believe I put my wonderful H through all of this. . .

SKM-it's amazing to me how going thru something like this gives EVERYTHING a new meaning. I mean as much as I've hated this part of my life & as much as I've hurt, I'm almost happy that it happened. . it's weird, but it was a necessary part of my life. I've grown & learned so, so much.<P>And, what I plan on telling Jim when we get to the point that he is apologizing to me (I think it will come, I don't need to hear it from him anymore I don't think, but I think he will need to say it) is that the things that have happened brought out a much, much better, stronger, more complete relationship between me & him. Your H is wonderful, but so are you. . you went thru a rough time in your life, but you learned so much, and aren't the 2 of you way better now than you were before?

Bitsy -<P>Yes, we are better than we were before and I'm grateful for that. I still get those days, I don't know, maybe that time of the month, when I just feel really sad that it happened at all. I don't regret that we are still together - and that we survived this and have gotten stronger both as individuals and as a couple, but I just feel really bad - still - even after all the good that has come out of this - it's still breaks my heart to think that I could have been that stupid, that callous, that cruel. Again, something I have to live with.

SKM-your H has forgiven you hasn't he? You have to also forgive yourself too. The thing that would be bad is if it would have happened and you didn't learn anything from it. You did. . everything happens for a reason. God was teaching you & teaching your H things that you both needed to learn. I think another way God is using you is thru MB, your posts here are awesome & give much needed perspective. I'll be remembering your post "SKM Chronicles" to possibly give to Jim if I think he needs help in understanding what happened & what's happening to him when contact is completely broken.<P>Don't be so hard on yourself.

Bitsy - <P>Thanks, sometimes, I just need to be reminded of that kind of stuff. I really think I have gotten to the point where I have forgiven myself - but it's just like when a BS has a flashback or something triggers a bad memory. This is just one of those times for me. I'm not trying to be hard on myself - those days are kind of over - but I do need to remember that while I dole out advice like its candy - I have to be humble, too.

SKM-ok, just don't want to see you ripping yourself. . I often think about how Jim may feel about this someday (I hope) and while I want him to have learned from this, I don't want him beating himself up for it for the rest of his life. Thanks for all the help you are to people here!