HI ALL,<P>Unfortunately, I am being educated by my wife´s e-mail exchanges with her "friend". I thought it would be interesting to share with you all the language of seduction in this new internet medium. Any contributions to expand Websters definitions will be gladly accepted.<P>BARRIERS: as in "I have to keep my barrier in place". This means "I really want to be unfaithful with you but not yet"<P>CIRCUMSTANCES: as in "our circumstances". This means "We are married and have families, so lets be careful, oh, how we both must suffer."<P>CHEMISTRY: as in "chemistry between us". This means "If and when we meet we are surely going to have sex"<P>FRIENDSHIP: as in "I want to be your friend". This means "We have to start somewhere, but you and I know where we are going."<P>I´M AFRAID: This means "I really want to sleep with you but its a terrible and horrible thing to do".<P>NATURE: sometimes also called instinct. These are excuse words used to say that we are like animals that roam in the wild like lions and are free to mate with whomever. Bottom line, I want to screw around.<P>WE ARE ALL FREE: this means "to hell with my husband I can screw whomever I want".<P><BR>This is part one, any comments or contributions are appreciated<BR>COPYRIGHT 2001<BR>

Don't forget:<P>1) Its too late-meaning: I am having fun right now with what I am doing and I do not want to face reality<P>2) I am taking a stand and doing what I want to do for a change- meaning: I am being selfish right now and I am really not taking a stand I am simply cheating on you.<P>3) Its over because we grew apart and no longer could communicate=meaning: I am actually lying and sneaking around behind my spouses back and that is why we really cannot talk at this time because nothing I say is truthful.... <p>[This message has been edited by Trs (edited March 18, 2001).]

We did this on another thread about a week ago. So for your enjoyment, here are the definitions we came up with.<P>From SKM-<P>Fog - Thinking irrationally, but not being aware of it, because, well, I'm being irrational. For example, you may hear statements like: "What are you talking about? There is nothing going on; or, I think I love this person. He/She walks on water. I have never met anyone more perfect than this one single individual. He/She truly is my soulmate (see below)."<P>Soulmate - The person who finds fault with nothing that I say or do; the person who thinks I walk on water; the person who loves me even though I act like a selfish two-year old the majority of the time; the person who thinks I'm the greatest.<P>No Contact - If I don't call the other person, that is no contact. If the OP calls me, that is considered unsolicited contact, and thereby does not break the "no contact" rule because I didn't initiate the contact.<P>"Not in love with you" - I don't feel like a giddy, sixteen year-old when I'm around you anymore.<P>"I love you, but I'm not in love with you" - See Fog, above. <P>Complete Honesty - Telling the honest answer IF you ask the right questions.<P>Disrespectful Judgements - Statements you make all the time; I however, only offer suggestions on how you can meet my emotional needs.<P>Lovebuster - Something similar to a dust buster - only rather than sucking up dirt, it sucks up my love for you. A lovebuster would be you telling me that I am wrong when clearly I am right.<P>Trigger - Wasn't that the horse the Lone Ranger used to ride? I don't know what triggers are, because I just want to forget about everything.<P>From grandpabri-<P>"I want to be completely and totally independent"-I don't want to be dependent on you emotionally anymore, but feel free to pay the rent and all other bills while I spend my money on OP.<P>"I don't know if I want to be married anymore"-I don't want to be married anymore, but I'm not quite ready to leave yet.<P>"The kids will be just fine"-I don't care how the kids will be as long as I get what I want.<P>Complete Honesty-I don't think you have any way of checking the facts, so I can tell you anything I want.<P>"I'm sorry"-This statement is often misconstrued. It does not mean "I am sorry for my actions" or even "I am sorry that I hurt you," but really means "I don't understand why you are reacting the way you are. Can't you see that I am a special person and normal rules do not apply to me? You are feeling emotion X? Get over it."<P>"I don't want anything from you"-Watch out, I am going to try to take you to the cleaners in divorce court. Child support, spousal support, etc.<P>

"I haven't been happy for a long time" - I am recreating the history of our marriage in my head negatively so that I can justify my affair.<P>"I haven't loved you for a long time" - I am recreating the history of our marriage in my head negatively so that I can justify my affair.<P>"I want to be free to come and go as I please" - I want to be free from the guilt of knowing that cheating on you is wrong and it is hurting you.<P>In answer to the question 'why don't you do the right thing?' - "I AM doing the right thing" (for him, of course, not for US).<P>In answer to the question 'why?' - "She's fun" - this means: 'She can go out until all hours of the morning all nights of the week because she has a restaurant job.' and 'when I am with her I have no responsibility or accountability to anyone but me - I can be as selfish as I want to be.' and 'she isn't my wife.' AND 'she is always ready to do whatever I want her to do because she does not live with me 24/7.'<P>"I just don't want to be married anymore" - I can't stand the guilt that goes with being married and screwing around and I am waaaaaay to selfish to be willing to work at making our marriage happy.<BR><P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

These are great you guys! But let's not forget<P>"I never meant to hurt you" - Translation: Of course if I would have thought for a second about how my actions would have affected you I would have realized that I would be causing you incredible pain if I had an affair. But I was way too selfish to consider anyone but myself and I didn't really care. However, now that you know all about it, I am really uncomfortable with the fact that I have to deal with your pain. Therefore I am desperately grasping for the proper meaninglesss cliche to show you that I'm not a bad person.

"My W is having an affair" means: she's not really, but if it makes you feel sad for me and want to rescue me then she's having an affair. Feel badly for pitiful me. Also this justifies my affairs in a sick dimented way!<P> <P>------------------<BR><B><I>RECOVER * REFOCUS * REGENERATE ~ BREATHE * RELAX</I></B><P>By Eleanor Roosevelt ~~<BR><UL TYPE=SQUARE><BR><LI>"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." <P><LI>"No one takes advantage of you without your permission."<BR></UL>

Here is another from yesterdays mail:<P>Do you want me to send you my photo?<P>Meaning: I´ll send you my photo, if I turn you on you´ll send me yours, then we will get together and have passionate sex.<P>note: this one is pretty obvious but just another for the list

Telepathy:<P>As in "See, it must be telpathy between us, I knew you would be here chatting" (in chat room)<P>Meaning:<BR>"I really am checking in this chat room 20 times a day looking for you"

LOL! I just have to jump in here with one, too!<P>"I didn't plan this, it just happened" : Actually, I've been as busy as a one-armed paper hanger laying the groundwork for this for a while now and wracking my brain to come up with ways to negatively recall our married life together. So far, so good, I think, but if you continue to press the issue I'm going to have to come up with a whole new string of bull****, so please back off. It's very hard to plan sponteneity!!<P>Grins,<BR>Windancer