I'm just so tired of all this. I honestly don't know if I can hang on much longer.<P>WS is back to I don't know if being in this marriage is right for me. He'd made a great show of caring and all the little displays of affection over the last couple of months and I fell for it. So did my 13 yr. old son, who knew about me H's A. I'm partly responsible for this,because I put back the bears H had given me over the years in our room. I did this as a show of faith in us and wanting to reach out to H. I know it hurt him when I packed them away. H even commented that he was glad to see them back(this was two weeks ago.) Our son doesn't trust his father's word anymore since H has been coming and going in this relationship for 8 months now. I knew by putting out these bears it would signal to our son that things were OK. He could trust his father again and it worked. For the first time in 8 months I've seen him smile. He's actually holding a conversation with his father instead of moping around. <P>Now I find out from H that it was all an act. Although OW is out of the picture, she's gone back to her husband and they are apparently working it out, H feels it would be better for everyone if he just left because he's hurt so many people. Does he honestly think that will hurt less?? Does he think it will make everyone better? I think he's taking the easy way out. Rather than face the problem and work hard at fixing it, let's just run away from it. I asked him how he thought this would effect our son. His reply was that this didn't concern him, it was about H and me. I told him whatever his decision was, that it most certainly concerned our son because he will definitely be effected by it.<P>He told me he'd call either Bill Harley or find another counselor to talk to. He is so lost and confused and he's taking everyone down with him.<P>I'm glad I'm on Spring break. It was a stressful quarter at school, guess I still not confortable with this college student status. Organic chemistry took the last of my strength. I really need some R & R. But I guess I just get to deal with this SH** again! <P>I'm just so tired. Tired of being a door mat. Tired of being treated like I'm the bad guy for trying to make this marriage work again.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Aries55 (edited March 19, 2001).]

Hi Aries! Looks like you didn't have a very good weekend. Call me if you want to get together this week. I'll send you an email with my phone number (I don't remember giving it to you when we talked)<P>Take care!

Aries55-I don't know much about your story, but it sounds to me like he feels so guilty. He doesn't feel deserving of you. Can you be supportive of him thru this time? I know it's not fair to you to still have to put a hold on your feelings, but he's got to work thru this stage too before he can begin to work on your marriage with you. Maybe he feels so unsure of himself right now that he can't make any promises you himself let alone to you. From what you said it truly sounds like he does not want to hurt you anymore. He is afraid. I know you are too, please hang in there. Keep us posted.

your situation sounds a lot like mine. mine too is saying that he ha hurt us too much and he can't make up for all the wrong and being around us he is reminded of all the hurt he has caused. the plus you have is that he is still home with you. mine left ow, is living in his mom's rv, i don't see him, and from what i hear he has been seeing a new girl from another dive bar, the type of woman tht he used to frown on. so at least you still have him there, so you got a chance, good luck