My husband of twelve years has put me and our four kids throught hell, he was cought about two months ago kissing a girl at a bar, by a friend of mine. We have gone through this type of stuff for ten year now. I alway believed his stories, but this time I had proof. I am a christan women and he claimed to be a christian also. He has admitted to have many one night stands(about 15 or more), but no love affairs. He claims it was just sex with this women, I am very confused, he claims that he dosn't want to lose his family, that he has turned to God. He claims to be a new man. I feel that too much has happened to heal this relationship. I don't want to hurt the kids and since I am a stay at home mom, I feel insecure about giving up that dream of being home with the kids. I am afriad of making the next move, I do love him but I don't think he could ever make me happy again. I don't know what to do? I don't like the hard,cold person I have become. We have spoken to our pastor, but it's very hard to hear from them that god hates divorse when I feel like that is the only option here for me. Can someone help me please?

I want to see that phrase in the bible...God hates divorce...it what reference...There are some references in the bible about if one leaves the marriage--infidelity, divorce-resulting in remarriage...that leaves one person not doing good in God's eyes, and the other free of the marraige, bond is broken..the one cheated on is free to go..<BR>Now I'm catholic and they'd never go for that,, but if I find the phrases in the bible I will let you know. I really thought that if I left my H , I could never remarry that it would be a sin, ect. But the depth of the bible gives one out-and that is infidelity. ( otherwise its death)<BR>I think the Divorce is wrong in religions because you will end up with someone else--so that would end up being infidelity.<BR>There is way to much to the bible.<BR>Your on the right path with getting help, though...Seeing a pastor or counselor, to see if your marriage can be saved and how to repair is the best thing you can do right now.

15 or more??? I'd suggest you do a little research on sex addictions.

<small>[ February 08, 2005, 10:36 AM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Its Matthew 19, 3-9--that is the piece that says God hates divorce --except for fornication....So, you have your choice from that verse. Glad I found it.<BR>However, I want to recommend something I was just recommended to..It may help you. <A HREF="http://www.rejoiceministries.org/quest1.html" TARGET=_blank>www.rejoiceministries.org/quest1.html</A> <BR>And I would like to say that you may get through this if your H seeks counseling because it does sound like he has a sexual addiction problem.

Its Matthew 19, 3-9--that is the piece that says God hates divorce --except for fornication....So, you have your choice from that verse. Glad I found it.<BR>However, I want to recommend something I was just recommended to..It may help you. <A HREF="http://www.rejoiceministries.org/quest1.html" TARGET=_blank>www.rejoiceministries.org/quest1.html</A> <BR>And I would like to say that you may get through this if your H seeks counseling because it does sound like he has a sexual addiction problem.

I thank you for your response. There are so many verses in the bilble about adultery. Thanks for referring that web site. I am feeling so numb I will look into this and see if he would get help or even admit to his addictions.<BR>Tallie

Oh, I know what you mean--the numbeness...you don't know if its worse than feeling anything.<BR>I really bonded with God in a special way 1 month before I found out about my H's A. I really felt I was being prepared in a way.<BR>You might have to think about your H having an illness.<BR>Are you as strong as your vows? In sickness and health. I know its hard, very hard..<BR>But in the end, wouldn't be beautiful for your children and your family to be healed and still together. It is possible. I have seen things at the age of 26- people who have gotten better- alcoholics, abusive parents...most from God, a few from therapy...I think your H needs help.<BR>If he doesn't that is a problem.<BR>Ask God what to do.<BR>You may be suprised at what starts coming your way. I was, just for asking. Once I said out loud, I would ask but I'm afraid of being blown out of the water...Afraid of how the answer would come...It came the next morning anyway...I am still in awe at how God works..and who he works through...people you wouldn't even know, someone who doesn't even know you could send you a message from God, that you just prayed for...IT is amazing.<BR>i asked if I should work on my marriage...the answer was yes...that doesn't mean I haven't tried to leave--my h ended up fighting for me to stay and I am happy he did, and probably will again- the way I've been going...but I haven't been praying for the right things, and I am impatient for my response...my biggest problem. I don't want to leave before my prayers are answered. So, everyday is a struggle...<BR>I even asked God to take away my pain, and I think he did.<BR>Be strong, I Know you will- you have 4 kids, right--gotta be strong for that..<BR>

My husband has had 14 one night stands in the course of our 12 year marriage. He has a sexual addiction and we are in counseling. I have done extensive reading on the subject. In fact reading about this topic is the only thing that has gotten me through it. My husband has completely turned his life around by the Grace of God. I believe God allowed me to discover his addiction before I got a deadly disease. I don't know if our marriage will be saved but if anyone has a chance we do. His salvation is 'real' and obvious. We go to church as a family whenver the doors are open. He has changed completely in regard to his treatment to the children. He was a good father before but now he is an awesome dad.<BR> You can stay married to him, but if he does not truly address his issues the kids will more than likely inherit his demons. I know my husband would be willing to communicate with him through e-mail if he is interested. I also will let you know some book titles if you are interested. The following web site has an online test assessing whether the person is an addict or not. <A HREF="http://www.sexhelp.com" TARGET=_blank>http://www.sexhelp.com</A>