I need some perspective. Am I being unreasonable? My H had an EA/PA and it has been 2 1/2 wks since the no contact letter was sent and previously he has tried 2 times to leave her. He is recently unemployed thanks to my dad. He is putting out his resume and not getting any responses. He wants to put a resume to a business that is about 10 - 15 minutes from the OP house. We live 30 mins from her. I dont want him to even submit a resume to them. I would constantly worry about him driving past her door every day and not stopping. I have told him this and his response was so I am not allowed down that direction of the highway anymore. I told him that I felt that comment wasnt fair that I was trying to accept what had gone on and move on. He is making efforts to reassure me and is counciling with Jennifer and we are working the surveys and reading surving an affair together. He seems to think that because he hasnt had any offers that he should go to this business and that it out weighs the potential cost. Any feed back?

Maybe your request is just a bit severe.<P>If he's in counseling...<BR>If he firm on the "no contact"...<BR>If he's really trying to Plan A (and he will stumble when he starts)...<P>Maybe... just maybe... it's time to five him the benefit of the doubt.<P> <P>Jim

If given the benefit of the doubt would it be unreasonable to ask for additional reassurances if he were to get employment there? Such as calling me when he gets to work and when he leaves work from work's phone? Also another question, the OP was pressuring him really hard to leave family and he was making committments to her that he would all the while telling me that he wanted to make it work and lying about contact. He was doing this on the Sunday before the no contact letter which she should have gotten on 3/7. At what point or length of seperation will the OP tell him to go away if he were to contact her? Or will she allow him to pick it back up and continue to keep it a secret this time. I question whether or not she could keep it a secret because she really wanted him to divorce me and marry her.

Yes...<P>Do get all your needs to have him affirm the "no contact"...<P>This should be true even if there is a completely different job!<P>In SAA... "Extraordinary precautions" must be taken to guarantee separation...<BR><OL TYPE=1> <BR><LI> Changing jobs and relocating (Situation dependent)<BR><LI> Blocking all communication (phone, e-mail, pager, etc.)<BR><LI> Accounting for time<BR><LI> Accounting for money<BR><LI> Spending leisure time together<BR></OL><P> <P>Jim

Thanks Jim. Do you think there will ever be a point where she wont welcome him back?

That is a true unknown...<P>The more he show commitment to you...<BR>...the quicker her "dream" will crash and burn.<P> <P>Jim

Thanks Jim. Do you think there will ever be a point where she wont welcome him back?