IF he knows I know he is lying to my face, why does he continue to lie. Does he really think lying is best to "protect" my feelings. We were in the process of a divorce ( I just stopped it yesterday) so WHY bother lying. He told me he didn't want to work on our marriage so why bother to continue to lie about his whereabouts. <P>Another thing, I had told him to move out and although he hasn't officially moved out, he spends no time here unless to pick up kids, put them to bed on his night to watch them or if he needs to pick up his clothes. He takes the kids to someone else's house to feed and have them play. Last weekend they had a slumber party over "her" house (she was not the origianl OW) she is a widow with her own 3 kids. Part of me wants to just pack his clothes, leave them out for him, change the locks but I'm not sure of that. I just gave him a Plan A letter the other day and he hasn't said anything about it. The letter stated the usual plus I stopped the divorce.<P>Obviously, I have to set a time limit for Plan A. I am just feeling very confused about my next move. Do I continue to try and talk to him about us, invite him out, to dinner at our house with kids, etc. HE has been quite pleasant for the past 6 weeks or so, however, he is a liar and a very good one and I am wondering if he is being nice to me so I wonn't "take him to the cleaners."<P>Any advice for me would be helpful. If anyone has a crystal ball out there, can I borrow it?<P>Hopelessmom

Hopeless, I am, first so sorry for your pain.<BR>I think the WS so often goes into self-protection mode. <BR>I would, and I'm not saying it's right,only can speak for myself., Be cordial but cold. He hasn't said a word about your plan A letter. Make him come to you, if he wants to.<BR>I can't for the life of me imagine how i could be trying to fulfill my WSs ENs when I was so devastated. He came home at D Day, and although non-visual contact continued, it really did end eventually. And he never saw her again. THAT was hard enough, what you are enduring, God, I can't imagine the pain. <BR>Take care of yourself, find something you like to do that you always wanted to do. I rollerbladed, went dancing with my gay friends...during the separation. Saw alot of my friends...Be kind to yourself and do the best you can. Set your time limit for Plan A...then you may be in a better position emotionally to either greet him back or go on with your life. <BR>

He continues to lie because he is in fantasyland. He doesn't even know how to stop lying because he is in the fog. He lies because he cannot face up to the hell he is putting you through. Tell him that you do not believe a word he says if you know he is lying. Give him a small dose of reality.<P>JB