According to Dr. Harley, the WS is supposed to answer questions about A. Currently, H is still "seeing" OW. OW told H in October, 2000 that she was pregnant and baby was H's. Baby is supposed to be due this week. Anyway, H is beginning to wonder whether OW is really pregnant. H said that he only slept with OW one time (I know isn't this what all WSs'say).<P>According to H if OW does not have baby by tomorrow--the baby is NOT H's. H is very adament about this so maybe H did only sleep with OW once. Also, long before the news of pregnancy in October, H said he only slept with OW once in late June, 2000. So, maybe H is telling the truth.<P>For those who don't know my story, OW had lived with H for about 1 month last July. At that point, H wanted to work on our marriage and could not stand OW's 4 kids so H kicked OW out. H and I were working on marriage (very rough because I was crying alot, etc.). This was before I had found MBers.<P>Then, OW called in October with news of pregnancy. H hid this from me until I found out he was at her place in December. H then told me about pregnancy. H believes that OW is terrible mother and if baby is his, we would try to get full custody (long story about OW's history).<P>Anyway, H did not want OW to know that he and I were together. He says he was worried Ow would try to harm baby or leave the state, etc. So, I knew that H was getting OW groceries so baby did not starve and taking OW places she needed to go. Ow has no job, no car, etc.<P>It was very hard on me knowing that H still sees OW. So, I seek constant reassurance from H regarding his feelings for OW and when H is going to tell OW that he knows she has been using him and lying about baby being his. Whenever I ask H he usually tells me we've been over all this before. If I don't stop, usually H has an angry outburst.<P>How can I get H to understand my feelings and fears as long as OW is still in the picture? H is supposed to be telling OW that he is finished playing her game tomorrow. Any advice would really be appreciated.<P>Dolphin

dolphin,<P>If he is his only "concern" is for the baby then he should demand a blood test. If it comes back that baby is not his- there should be no further reason for contact. If he is still concerned about the baby even though it is not his have him call DCFS. If they baby is his has he talked to a lawyer? Either way if your H says he wants his marriage he needs to end his current relationship with OW, and only maintain talking in the interest of the child. God bless you. You have got to be one strong woman to have gone through all of this! <P>Joyful

I've worked as a labor and delivery nurse for 13 years. If you can tell me the last date that H was physically with OW (lived with her) I can tell you if she should have had the baby by now or not. These days obstetricians will only allow a woman to go 1 week past their due dates before inducing labor. To let a woman's pregnancy get beyond that point is an extreme liability for a doctor as research shows that it is not safe for the baby to be left undelivered more than 7 days past the due date without a significant increase in risk. Any doctor in their right mind does not allow a woman to continue a pregnancy longer than 41 weeks. That 41 weeks does not start from the point of conception,it starts from the first day of the woman's last menstrual period. Hope this helps.

I hate to say this, but there are lots of red flags here. His need for deception and his feeling like he needs to take care of her indicate to me that he's just not being honest. I would really be looking for some answers now!<P>As for the blood test, yeah, get it. And if it comes up positive, I would advise you to leave. Why tie that burden around your neck too? Your H has got it made. A wife who supports him and his illegitimate child AND an OW he's lying to about you. If that doesn't sound like a recipe for disaster, I don't know what is.<P>(I am not trying to be unsympathetic. I applaud your willingness to not blame the child- if there is one- but I think you are cheating yourself).