Hi. Its been a while since I posted, mainly because things were/are better. Supposedly OW is out of the picture and there has not been any contact since December. However, I had my H's cell phone the other day and he had 2 voice mails, one was her clearing her throat the other was her holding the phone to the radio. I have been getting these music messages on my machine at home for a couple of weeks. One on our home phone the same night as his voice mails of her sighing. He just got his cell so she shouldn't know the number but someone at his job (he's in sales) could have given it out. Also her husband called my H Sunday looking for her. He told him he hadn't seen her and I can vouch for that particular day. Said her H told him there were no hard feelings and that she had been doing CRAZY things lately. That is all my H has told me about the conversation. Any way, I'm feeling a little insecure (mainly because I've believed him over and over again that it was over just to learn that it wasnt)and I need reassurance. Anytime I try to talk with him about it though, even in a non-accusatory manner, just to say I'm feeling a little insecure, he thinks I'm interrogating him or he says he knows I'm not interrogating him but that I should just RELAX. Its like my feeling aren't valid. I don't know what to do. I would love to just believe everything is ok and relax, but I've been burned enough to know to be cautious. Thanks for listening, I know I rambled and it probably is confusing, but thats me -- confused.

Your feelings are VERY valid, and don't let your H tell you otherwise. The fact that OW has his new cell phone number is not a good sign, nor are his defensive comments. You're not wrong in wanting reassurance after what you've been through, either. He should be having NO CONTACT with this woman.<P>Are you and your H in counseling? If not, please consider it. My H and I are 3 months into recovery (I'm the WS) and it has helped us tremendously.<P>Sorry for what you're going through. {{{HUGS}}}

Susie,<BR>Thanks for your reply. I don't know why it always makes you feel better for someone to tell you its ok to feel the way you feel. It does help though. We are not in counselling now because we cannot manage it financially and we don't have any insurance coverage in our area for that type thing. I guess we'll just keep trying to do the best we can and hope for the best. Thanks again for your reply, I really needed a hug today!

Hi Justsher,<P>I noticed you because I'm a Sher, my name is Sheryl.<P>I just wanted to share something with you...<P>I truly believe that my ex-marriage could have been saved with proper counseling. FIND THE MONEY, okay Sher? Is there anyone you can talk to who might lend you the money? It's just so hard to do it on your own, although some have been successful. For my situation though, it couldn't happen without some direction from an outside source.<P>And, by the way, your feelings are valid, and real, and you deserve to be heard. Also, when your gut tells you to be on the lookout, there's a reason. Trust yourself. <P>Best wishes,<BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck