The plan had been to wait until after the weekend to confess my A, however, my brain had other intentions. Tuesday i couldnt shake the need to tell him everything, I began wanting him home from work early just so we could talk. Since we do have kids, i decided the best thing to do was wait till they went to bed. So, i headed off to aerobics unaware that he had gained access to my email account. While i was away he read my posting here and the replies i received. When i returned home, i sensed things werent right, and the kids were still up, so i assisted with getting them to bed, and he seemed unable to sit still. I asked him to please sit down that i needed to talk to him, he sat and i kneeled before him on the floor resting my head on his leg and began to tell him, his first response was anger, he asked how i couldve done such a thing to him, and i gave the only answer i knew, "I dont know". I professed my love for him and that i wanted to try and work things out, He assured me that he cared for me and the kids and that he didnt want anything to happen to us, but that i had to regain trust that wouldnt be easily given. His anger quickly faded and i could see the hurt in his eyes. After a long night and many tears, he invited me for lunch the following day, i accepted. We met for lunch on Wednesday, and he could barely speak to me and gave me very little eye contact. He said that it hurt to look at me. I asked why he had invited me, he said he didnt know. We ended the lunch with a hug and i told him again how sorry i was and that i loved him. He came home from work alittle happier, and asked me to go out with him that night, we attempted to find a sitter and since that was unsuccessful he went alone, he called several times while he was out and said that he loved me and asked how the kids were. He came home and shared some info that he hadnt shared with me, and i told him i appreciated his honesty. He also asked me to write the NC letter and wed go over it together, i accepted. So far his outward appearance seems to improve everytime i see him, so it does make me hopful that we are on our way to healing together. I have advised him to read some of the other posts here and to even post himself if he feels it could help him. Thats the update for now.

You have done the right thing, although it may not feel like it for awhile. It's the hardest thing any one can go through. But an honest marriage is worth it.<BR>I couldn't even look at my H after he told me. It is going to be very hard on him...just listen, love him, hold him.<BR>One piece of advise: I wanted to know some of the physical stuff OW had done with my H. I heard enough to make me have horrible pictures in my head, to this day, 7 months later. They have faded some but they come back at strange times. I imagined it worse than it was...even now, if we do something "new" I wonder if he did that with her.<BR>As a man, It will probably be important to him. Think very carefully before you reveal more than he needs to know to put his fears at rest. I have all kinds of stuff I wish I didn't know. He was trying to be completely "honest" and we didn't know better. Don't evade but temper your answers with love and knowledge that it will hurt him.