I know you all will say time but it has been almost 2 years since I discovered my husbands 1 week long sexual affair and sometimes, no many times throughout the day I still get this schocking feeling, like what did he do!! I have read all the biooks on forgivness, we see a counslor on aregular basis, etc. I know the one thing I wish would happen would be that he be the one on the internet searching relationship building things, or coming to me with something he read, but...<BR>I know I still carry resentment because the affair was more about him (not many dating (sexual) experiences, low self-esteem, mid-life crisis.) Sometimes I really wish I would have done something to cause it, such as not meeting his conversation needs or sex, but he admits I was and am a great wife he just felt like he couldn't resist the temptation.<BR>How can I reassure myself better. My husband has really changed (for the better) and is trying top meet my needs better - it is ironic because I was the one who wasn't getting my needs met at the time of the affair!<BR>Any help would be appreciated. <BR>Thanks

Hi,<P> Yes, just be thankful. I wish my H had one of those instead of the madly In love I am going to leave you for her kind. Real hard to take after a 20 year M. <P> I guess i should also be thankful, because he did not go.<P>------------------<BR>Deb

Janiee, You're scaring me, Man! I am 7 months from D Day and 4 1/2 Months in recovery. My H's PA lasted about 3 weeks in which OW was madly in love and he was just tempted and stupid.(Sorry,Baby, if you read this)EA was there too about 3 months prio. to PA.<BR>Sounds like the low self esteem and MLC are common in our situation,too. The few sexual experiences before marriage doesn't really fit although he was no hound dog.You feel as I do and My H says too, I was a good wife. I wasn't perfect but certainly a better wife than he was a husband. And my needs were ot being met and I didn't have an A. Do people seems to miss that here on MB? I guess it's against the teachings.<BR>It's hard to get over this stuff. I feel so used sometimes, for sacrifising my own principals and taking him back, after he was so mean and selfish. BUT he is remorseful and has done everything to reassure me. I don't think he would ever have been this loving if he didn't almost lose me. <BR>It's hard to be grateful, huh? Look at the cost and it hardly seems worth it. BUT I look at the MAN and I know I did the right thing. <BR>I am hoping that in 2 years this will be a distant memory.I will never forget it and I will NEVER be glad this happened,as some say, even if it does improve my marriage. I am a good person, he should have seen that without having to do what he did. We were married 27 years at the time of the A. Just had our 28th.