My D sent this from another site. I fowarded to my WS. Not that he ever acknowledged, but I know he picked it up. A little food for thought...which he really needs. TO START THINKING. <P>Sunny, <P> Take it from someone who has had an affair, the grass is<BR> ALWAYS greener on the other side. I left my wife 11 years<BR> ago for the "other woman". We have been married now for<BR> 10 years. What I wouldn't give to have my ex back!!! What you<BR> are mistaking for a soul mate is what you are missing at<BR> home sexually and emotionally. You are like a starving<BR> person seeing food for the first time in weeks. You want to<BR> eat everything in sight and it has never tasted better.<BR> Eventually you'll get full. The nice thing about an affair is that<BR> it centers around pleasure without the rest of the hassles of<BR> life getting mixed in. I know from experience. When you and<BR> your lover are together, your sole purpose is to give and<BR> receive pleasure. There are no houses to clean, no oil to<BR> change, no yard to mow, no dog to feed, no kids to make do<BR> their homework, no trash to take out, etc., etc., etc! The trick<BR> is to communicate and accept each other. Remember, at<BR> some point you loved your husband enough to want to<BR> spend the rest of your life with him.......just like this guy. But if<BR> you have to build a homelife with him, trust me, it isn't going<BR> to be hot passionate sex on demand like now. My affair (like<BR> all affairs) centered around sex initially. Now after 10 years<BR> of marriage, we have not had sex in 27 months! Her choice,<BR> not mine! In fact, I seriously doubt that we have had sex 1/4<BR> as much in 10 years of marriage than we did in the 5 years<BR> we had an affair. The grass was not greener on the other<BR> side of the fence. If you find it "necessary" to have an affair,<BR> you need to establish boundaries and limits about how it<BR> interferes in your daily life. I know some people are not<BR> going to like my last statement. But people have affairs for<BR> different reasons (such as going years at home without sex)<BR> but have no desire to throw away their life, otherwise good<BR> marriage or family. You are feeling raw emotion and are<BR> starving right now. Think with your head and not your heart<BR> and ask yourself if this will really solve your problem<BR> longterm. Good luck!!!<BR> <P> <BR> Email this Message<BR> Reply<BR> <BR>

I like this but if I sent it to my H, his reply would be his relationship with the OW is not all about sex, even though that is great.

Dear Whatami,<P>I loved that story. Definitely an eye opener. Providing they (ws's) want to open their eyes. I want to sent it to WS but I started a no contact policy and gotta keep my word. I will later if I can. <P>L.

Oh,<P> And lets not forget, theirs is so special!!! Like no others. So wouldn't do much good to send it to them while they are still with the "special one."<P>------------------<BR>Deb

It's so tragic that many people choose to have an affair, rather than work on their "original" problem. You can't run away from problems. The problem eventually arises again because it was never addressed.<P>So true...the grass is usually NOT greener on the other side. What a shame that all who are involved have to endure, pain, humiliation & consequences before the wayward spouse realizes this.<P>It's all so cruel, senseless & unecessary.

The grass is always greener....wherever it is watered!

The grass is greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it!

The ONLY way grass stays green is if it is taken care of. Some people just keep spreading manure when they do not realize the grass also needs to be watered, mowed and seeded. Grass also needs "winter" time to get its strength back so it will look more healthier and vibrant. I think we can apply an affair to spreading manure......I like the letter....

Just adding my 2 cents again. In regards to the grass is greener on the other side of the fence subject, here is an excerpt of an e-mail that was sent by me to OW back in Dec 00 about 4+ weeks from D/day. The emotions where still quite high at that time. <P>"To Sylvia,<P>.......He (WS) also said that the grass did look<BR>greener on your side of the fence but he now he can<BR>see a lot of bare dirt spots where nothing can grow.<P>Keith is a yardman by trade. It offends him to see<BR>bare damaged dirt spots when it should be covered by<BR>beautiful grass or foliage. But that is how he<BR>described you. Remember this when he whispers sweet<BR>nothings in your ear."<P>Ok my 2 cents. <P>L.<P><BR>