I originally posted this to HGBrawner but I will take any help or advice anyone can give.<BR>I have read many of your post and am very impressed with your advise and your work 0n your marriage.<BR> You said;<BR> "Our marriage is wonderful. We are very happy and content...we have passion, excitement, trust, honesty, great communication, disagreements, frustrations, hope for the future, and all the things that are part of a normal, healthy marriage. I would definitely say our marriage is better now that it was at the time of the affair,"<BR> Do you think this is possible even after a 15 year affair? We have been married for 33 years and this is his second affair. He says both were sexual no attachment. He is now remorseful. Not only for the affairs but all that he missed by not being fully present in our family. ( His way of coping with his doublelife) We looked like a great family. Did everything together including church. He was even a Sunday School teacher. We raised three wonderful kids. Have had great times and great friends. Although for me now the memory of those great times is now tarnished by wondering how much of her presence was there. He says he rarely let the two lives mingle. His time with her was always on "business" trips. I had some suspicions about this business relationship but was basically told I was just being a parinoid wife. Never late nights, weekends etc. I'm rambling now. He says he finally had an awakening and realized he could no longer live the life he had been living. He is now in therapy as I am. We also go as a couple. All of these are Pastoral Counselors. He appears to be working hard on this marriage but I can not yet accept his "caring" All the couselors think it is possible and that we can do it. However, I would also like the opinion of someone who has been there. Even at this point I want to keep the family together. I want our grandchildren to have a "nana and papa" not a nana and a papa. Our "children" know and are also working on forgiveness they have been very supportive of both of us although we try to keep them out of the day to day struggle. They have their own issues to deal with. Others in our Church and community do not know. After the first affair we did share it with our friends and realized that it just complicated relationships. We do have a great couple that we have known since college days that knows and supports us and prays for us. Rambling again. <BR> anyway, back to my basic question. Do you think it is possible to recover after such a long deception and that being the second? The first was brief and very early in our<BR> marriage. We probably didn't carried too much baggage around from that instead of using it as a wake up call.