Why is that most people attribute infidelity and the pain that it causes in the marriage only to sexual relations with another person. I had been married to my husband for 3 years when i found out that he was addicted to pornography not only pictures in books but also all the movies. He would use the internet late at night when i was in bed or when i would go out or he would get up really early 3 in the morning this has been devestating to my marriage as far as i feel he has broken the marriage vows and there is no trust in our marriage. He says that it doesn't mean anything but i feel that by him satisfying himself while looking at this stuff is an act of adultery. He may not have the physical contact but he is using someone else and bringing that persons image into our sex life.

Is he willing to admit that what he's doing is wrong and/or willing to stop for the sake of the R and your issues with it? Have you told him what it means to you and asked him to stop? Have you sought professional counseling for yourself or with your H? <P>Was there a change at the 3-year point in your marriage? Kids? Work changes? Frequency of sex reduced? Other stresses? Had your husband been involved with P growing up and/or while you were dating? Do you and have you had a “healthy sex life” (whatever that might be)? Obviously, that’s a loaded question right there. You might read the thread “Wife wanted separation after seeing me masturbate” in the EMOTIONAL NEEDS area or another one just started that I’m sure will draw discussion is “Comments about masturbation, pornography, and "victorian ideas.” It's also in the EMOTIONAL NEEDS area.<P>Good luck to you. I hope that you will be able to find a source of clarity or resolution to allow you and your h's r and life to go beyond this issue.<P>mb4me<P>