Stopped at the office... lucky me.<P>Wanted me to type up and sign a little paper to have the cable bill switched to my name and wanted assurance that I would be closing our joint account once I get everything straightened out with it. I provided both very quietly.<P>Then he wanted to know if I could take the day off from work tomorrow so he could come and get his tools. I told him that he cannot have anything that is in my home. He was upset, and I probably love busted a bit by telling him that he has had his way throughout this entire situation - that he has told me what is going to happen and basically that I have to accept it. He told me there was nothing he could do about that and I told him that yes, there was always something he could do: do the right thing. He started to argue, kind of sputtering and then said "I'm not going to get into it." I reminded him that I had not asked for this and did not want it. And he said "I never said you did." It was all rather subdued. He gave me the housekey (odd the things that bother me - he kept the key for the entire time he was out of the apartment, and him giving it back to me somehow has the feeling of finality that nothing else has had)... and then started to leave.<P>I called him back, and could not help crying. I hugged him and he sorta awkwardly patted me on the back and told me "You'll be ok."<P>I desperately wanted to tell him that I would never be ok again, but I managed not to, and he left very quietly. I shut the door to my office and cried.<P>I feel almost as bad as I did when he told me he was leaving me. I just hope someday he understands what he's done. And I hope that SHE understands it one day, also.<P>Now I just have to get through 3 more hours of work before I get to dissolve into a puddle...<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

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Oh Terri, I am so sorry. Honey you have done everything, and I do mean everything possible to save the marriage. If h is so foolish that he can't see what he is throwing away I have to wonder if he deserves you. I'm sorry, but that is how I feel. <P>You do whatever you have to do to heal yourself now Terri, for as long as I've known you he has been your main concern. Now is the time to put you first.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{Terri}}}}}}}}}}

Terri, I have respected you for so long and have been amazed at your courage and strength. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care of yourself and know you have many friends here for support.

terri,<BR>I'm so sorry! I agree with you about the things that they do or say that seem to have a huge affect. But maybe look at it this way, Jim moved 3 states away. . and look how we've been doing lately. They are strange & they do strange things. It's hard not to read so much into them. Take care of yourself right now.

Thanks everyone. I'm doing ok mostly. If I keep busy, I don't think and if I don't think I'm ok. I spent the evening with a friend. She watched TV and I worked on her computer. Sounds like it wouldn't be much help, but having someone nearby while I was busy made all the difference in the world.<P>I can't help it - I am already second-guessing myself... that maybe it would have been better had I gone along with him - but, bottom line is, he has waited until the last minute to take care of this stuff and I simply cannot do things his way anymore.<P>And, he's right. I WILL be ok. But it's going to take a long time for me to trust anyone again.<P>And I still hope they are miserable together ... funny thing is, everyone who knows him is positive they will be except me. I think I have waited for that for so long and hurt so much in the process that I can't take the chance to hope for it anymore... And I still wonder what it was I did that was so awful as to deserve this <P>Here I go rambling on again... Thank goodness I have somewhere to go to do that.<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

{{{{{{terri}}}}}}<BR>My thoughts are with you. I know how you feel....I wish this would never happen to any of us!!!! You will be the better person in this!

I can't help but be glad he was a little upset about the tools. Good for you in standing up for yourself, which is NOT a lovebuster, in my opinion.<P>I'm just so sorry, Terri.