I just picked up my mail and what do I open first? A security deposit return recept for my H Vacation with OW!!!!<P><BR>He is such a lier! He took her to Hawaii to the same place we went a year ago! I could have done without knowing that. I knew he went away and she was gone too. I knew they were on vacation together, but to find they went to the same Island we honeymooned and went recently was a blow. He lied to me and to his family about where he went. No wonder he has been so careful not to talk about the trip.<P>I have all kinds of evil thoughts... leave this out with the rest of his mail. Ask him how Hawaii was this year, ask him how his friend was that he supposidly went to see, send it to OW H. Of course i am in plan a so I will instead try and vent here and get over it.<P>I think plan B is not far away though. Just when I am starting to have feelings that I could continue plan a awhile longer, another blow. I wasnt even trying to find this out, why does he have to be so stupid? I am going to staret the rewrite on my plan B letter. Well, maybe not today cause it wouldnt be too nice. <P>That jerk! Why does he begin talking to me then take her to Hawaii? <BR>Lora

Lora - does OW's H know? I'd tell him. Maybe you should keep that receipt to yourself and send it to your H with your Plan B letter - whenever you get to that. Does he deny the affair? Do you have other hard evidence?<P>I know the lies and deceptions hurt badly. Good idea venting to us - we support you. <P>WAT

Hi LORA,<P><BR> I wished I would have told the OW H in my case. But that is over with. He is home now, and it is over. But if I had it to do over again. I would call OW and her H immediatly. Instead of being a doormat. But my spouse did not want me to. DUH,of course not!! He would be embarassed?<BR>I was in shock at the time, so I figured it would make matters worse!! It only made it worse for me. <P>------------------<BR>Deb

Hi Lora:<P>Yes, venting is allowed here....rant and rave all you want.....but perhaps that is as far as it needs to go....and that the wonder of it....sometimes it's enough just to let it all out.<P>It is trully amazing what the WS will do while they are in the fog. I would suspect that the reason your WS took OW to Haiwai (same island, etc) is because he probably has good feelings attached to that trip and wanted to see if it could be the same with OW. Granted it was a s***y thing to do to you, but somehow they don't reason out things as well in the fog as they should....or they're just too selfish to see how much it would hurt.<P>I don't think this will really make much difference....I believe you WS will return....in his own time....just keep Plan Aing until you can't anymore then move on to Plan B if necessary.<P>I have never advocated passing on information to other parties in an affair...it usually comes back to bite you...and it always seems like it's beneath you...why hurt someone else with knowledge he will probably know eventually anyway. A good example is that my WS apparently spent the night with his other OW and current "live-with" thought he was at my house because she drove by and his car was there early in the morning (he had come by and left it with me before he left on a trip). I debated whether to tell her he was at other OW's house but decided not to because she will get hurt enough in the end...so I don't need to add any more hurt to what she already has comming.<P>Anyway, try not to let this bother you too much....in the long run it's just another crazy thing WS has done in the fog.<P>Faye<P>

Dear Lora,<P>I am sorry your WS hurt you that way. Mine did also. Took OW to Yosemite (one of our favorite places). Anyway, H did not have a good trip. Weather was nice, scenary was nice. Memories got in the way. Made him cry. He has been depressed and sad ever since. H really needs to cry but won't. <P>So don't assume they had a great time. Maybe they didn't. Maybe too many memories of you and H together marred their vacation. I'm glad mine did. <P>L.

Make a copy of that reciept, and keep it. When the time is right give H the copy, you keep the origional, it's proof should things reach the point you need proof.<P>------------------<BR>Deb<P>Hepatitis C, Please educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In" TARGET=_blank>http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In</A> memory of a very dear friend <A HREF="http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp" TARGET=_blank>http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp</A>

WAT,<BR>Im not sure if her H know, I think he is suspicious. I talked to Jen Harley about this and she said to wait til I am in plan B then to have a friend call her H.<P>Deb,<P>I think I will try and follow Jennifers advice and wait til the time is right for me to tell.<P>Buffy,<BR>I know, it really doesnt matter in the long run where they went,it was just such a shock to open it innocently. and its hard because I am trying not to confide in people in my real life any more so I only have you guys to let it out with.<P>Deb, Good idea. I will do that.<P>Orchid,<BR>I hope they had a lousey time! I am going to do one little guilt producing thing. I just got my film back from my trip and on it were pictures of our last years trip to Hawaii. I an going to reminise about the good time we had when I show him the pictures.<BR>Lora

Lora-so sorry, it must be painful. It's so hard to think of them doing things with the OP that they are SUPPOSED to be doing with you!<P>I like your idea about your pictures. Make sure you act very innocent, don't let him know what you know right now. It will have a much bigger affect. I also agree with the others that he may be having a terrible time, she is in territory that has memories of YOU, what do you think your H is thinking about?

What a crumb-bum! I am apalled at the games our H's play with us. <P>My H is going to Vegas tomorrow. 2nd anniv., of their meeting. I have the worst ideas how to ruin her trip. A little call from the wife tonite before the big rendevue? It has been since January since they have seen each other. Two months since he moved out. I think it is about time to enter HER realtiy. We'll see how it works out... <P>May be I'll write a thread about it. <P>I have been on vacation to Mammoth skiing, so I am a little behind the times here.<P>I am sorry you are going through this. I am really at the end, I think. My H is a little boy, with no thoughts to being a grown-up(or ever)--I need a man in my life. Not another child! <P>How can you stay so focused? Good for you. I just want to move on and be open for love again, instead of trapped in this loveless marriage, where my H is not even home or treating me like friend or family. <P>Take care--Beth

Lora, I'm right here with you!!! Really mad at H and OW right now-know how you feek-keep the proof-my lawyer has a copy of H's change of address to OW's house-he says it will be VERY helpful if H tries any stunts!! Hang in there!!! Rant and rave here-look cool and collect to them....