about this move. I'm worried that we're too soon into recovery and that I shouldn't be planning anything for the next few months (I'm hoping to go around June, so the girls have time to get settled & make some friends before school starts). This is going to be hard for them too, especially since he's been so strange lately. . my OD keeps telling me "you better be sure". . I tell her I am sure, talk to him! She's sweet.<P>Now don't get me wrong, I know that we can make it, that we can fix this, but I worry that he's going to still be changing his mind, or flip flopping, or feeling pressure. . or whatever it is that happens to them. I want to say to him, you know if we move there, basically you're "stuck" with us! And you're just gonna have to hang around & deal with anything that gets thrown our way. I know that I can, but I'm afraid it's still too soon & he doesn't believe in it enough. . doesn't understand it all enough yet.<P>I also am pretty sure that I'm going to catch some flack from my family. . just all the are you sure's, since he's been so funky lately. That's not gonna be fun. I get a little tired of defending him all the time to everyone. Just everyonce in a while, I get to thinking, maybe they're right. I do have my girls to think about also, am I doing the right thing? Am I doing the right thing but doing it too soon?

bitsy - your anxiety is understandable. Are you two in counseling (I can't remember)? If you are there's an obvious resource for getting some advice. Have you researched counseling available at the new location?<P>This decision has as much to do with your personality as it has to do with analyzing the facts. Face it, you're taking a risk - you recognize this. What's the worst that can happen compared to the best that can happen? Are you the cautious type that wants all the downside minimized, or are you willing to take some risk for a potential huge payoff.<P>You've shown good thinking throughout, and I believe that if you make a reasoned decision, you should have confidence in yourself that it's a good one. Remember the turtle, who never gets anywhere until he sticks his neck out.<P>WAT

WAT-holy fast response Batman!! Thanks!<P>No counseling-he doesn't believe in it. . too much of a man to ask for help, you know? Just how he is.<P>Thing is, I believe in me (that I can get us thru this), I believe in us (that we have something really really special that can survive this), but I feel like, until he believes the same thing, there's only so much "I" can do.<P>I know it's a risk, it's one I'm willing to take. If it was just me w/out my girls, I'd probably be there now. Just don't want to make their little lives any harder than they already have been. I know what the payoff can & will be (I believe, I believe, I believe!!).<P>I just get afraid, when he gets afraid. . cuz so far, what he's done when he's afraid is yank his neck back in to his shell so fast I don't even see it comming!!!!