Good Morning to All!!!<BR>Let me see...last night my W's aunt brought the kids home around 7. She had been out to my W's place for dinner. Apparently W and kids were supposed to come in town, but W conveniently asked her aunt to come out for dinner. Oh...by the way, she asked aunt to bring the kids back home after, so that she didn't have to drive in town. <P>I tried to call , three times last night to get some information on rides for the kids. Guess what? No answer. No call back this morning either, which she would usually do. So I called her at work. I said why didn't you call me back last night. I tried to call 3 times. Her response..."I didn't get the message" and then she rapidly changed the subject.<P>Part two...<BR>I took the kids to the sitter this AM and when I got there I said to the sitter, I think that I owe you for 1 day last week. She said that W had dropped the kids off 3 times in the last week, and not paid her. So...now she is sending the kids to the sitters house, when she is supposed to have them, and not telling me. <P>Hmmmmmmm....I wonder where she has been going for 3 hours at a time???? Maybe to have her nails done?? Maybe to get groceries?? maybe to was her car??? I DON'T THINK SO!!!<P>So now...the covertness of the affair, starts to take on a new twist. And I now have some info that she doesn't know that I have thanks to my sitter, who thinks my W is a bit@# anyway.<P>The divorce continues to move forward...I am trying to slow it down, but am not having much luck at it. Maybe someone is trying to tell me something...that I might be better off without the self centered selfish person that I am married to. Obviously her wedding vows and morals have gone into oblivion with what once was a pretty good marriage. I would just love to meet the SOB boytoy in a dark alley some night and have 5 minutes alone with the pri$%. <P>Oops...I'm showing my anger...W says I need help and should get counciling to deal with it. LOL<P>Just needed to vent...thanks<P>Have a nice day everyone!<P>Mike

brain worms - definitely. Hang in there and stay on the moral high ground. Cherish your kids and protect them. Document the occasions when she doesn't pay the sitter, or uses the sitter when she doesn't have to. This stuff may help you in a custody fight.<P>Dave

"oh where oh where has my little wife gone....." <P>to FOGGYLAND with all the other WS where nothing is thier fault; when they go past GO they get the "I can do whatever I want & it will not hurt anybody" card<P>I agree with Dave document everything, it might help.<P>Stay on your course, your kids need you, you are doing fine.

I agree, document, document, document <P>A big fat reality stick will hit her in the head, of her own doing. All you have to do is patiently sit and watch.<P>When the affair collapses, and she is without her home and her children .... she'll be singing a different tune...(like cjack's ex).<P>Love your children, care for yourself, and let her go.<P>((hugs)) BR

Mike, who initiated your divorce. Are you still in Plan A or what. I ask for myself because I am at a cross roads. I also think the I would be better off without H.<P>I also have anger isssue. Sorry, but it makes me angry that you are doing something wrong and don't care. don't care about me, don't care about us, dopn't care about anything but yourself, and you always said how loving and caring you were. You were loving and caring but not totally. You were also selfish which you are highly selfish now. <P>If you are plan A, how do you do that in the midst of divorce? Hopelessmom

Dave,<BR>It seems as though those brain worms are having a 7 course mesl between my W's ears. According to her she is happy and can't understand why nobody can see that and wish her well. She seems to think that everything she is doing is rational and everybody shpuld get on with their lives.<P>Sing, Bramblerose,<BR>I have been documenting things since October. I have a page full of stuff. As far as custody of the kids goes, I really don't want to get into a fight over that. She wants 50-50. Right now it isn't even close to that. THey spend a lot of their time with me. My lawyer says to argue for "status quo". It leaves her saving face, but doesn't screw up time with the kids, although it would be nice to see her take some responsibility for once. Doubt it will happen soon though. To many distractions on her end!! So I keep on documenting and watch her self destruct.<P>Hopeless...<BR>It sure as heck wasn't me that files for divorce. I tried like he#$ to get her to wait at least a year before doing anything. I got one promise early on for 6 months. As soon as boytoy left his wife, she broke her promise and filed. She said, "Why prolong this any more than we have to". As far as plan A goes, I sucked at it. I couldn't sit around and take her crap. So I LB all over the place. I used to catch myself and stop. Now...I don't really care one way or the other. If she wants to play house with someone else, and lie to everyone saying that our relationship just wasn't right for her...then I hope the real truth jumps up and bites her on the a$$ someday. So I guess that I am in a modified plan B now where I talk to her only on a limited basis about the kids. This way, instead of ever word out of her mouth being a lie, it's only every 3rd word! LOL<P>You need to do what is right for you. I just don't think that I can take it any more. WHen we walked into that courtroom and sat on opposite sides of the room...I said to myself, that this is disgusting to me and this woman who I loved for 12 years with all my heart is the cause of this. We could have worked out anything that was bothering her except boytoy. Because of this, it is costing me a substantial amount of money for legal services, that I could be spending on my kids. It sucks!<P>Mike<BR>