well I now am very confused, I fear I may have ruined my marriage with verbal abuse and lies. We are seperated with a court order of no contact. I do know that one of W's biggest EN is finaicial and I am trying to live up to and beyond. But my real question is how do I make deposits in the Love Bank with nothing but email contact? So far the only email contact is all finacial. wel almost all, I asked hW if I could drop off easter cards and gifts for her and Stepdaughter she said no I said it hurts but if that is what youwant I will do it. Then she asked me not to even drive thru the backside of our development I have a friend that lives there but I can go another way so I agreed. I really want our marriage to work, I am working on me. Abuse prevention and Anger Management course and counseling, a personal counselor, increased my AA meetings working a very solid program. I want to break this cycle and change me for me. So hwo do I make those deposits, how will she know that i am working on me. What do I do from here?

Ridensober...<BR>I'm sorry to hear about your situation - it doesn't sound easy.<BR>Have you tried keeping a daily journal of the things your learning and working on?<BR>Perhaps one day she will feel safe enough with you to read it - and then she can see all the 'deposits' you are trying to make.<BR>Is your sponsor someone she knows?<BR>Where are you at in your program?<BR>Maybe your sponsor could meet her somewhere for a cup of coffee and let her know of your progress.<P>It's going to take time...try not to push her or rush things...the less pressure she feels, the more willing she may be to talk one day.<P>Good luck to you.

RidenSober,<P>You don't have an easy road to walk, but nothing is stopping you from trying.<P>You are doing great, IMHO, by respecting your wife's wishes for no contact at Easter. I'm sure it isn't easy, but the respect will help.<P>Try sending a card (perhaps with a small gift?) with no physical contact.<P>Also, I would suggest setting aside money for a phone session with the Harleys. I have heard nothing but good things about it.<P>All the best to you. Perhaps someone else has some good advice?<P>--HBC