HI ALL,<P>Did you finally reach the "whatever" point; and, no matter how devastating d. would be, you just didn't care any more because you are so frazzled to care?<P>The part that scares me the most is that a Ws, no matter how horrible they have been, will present themselves as<BR>shameless to their children.<P>On the brink of d, and just going through the motions to try to appear strong for my 3 children.<P>They see ws as a stranger--AND HE IS AFTER ONE YEAR!!<P>My children and I have bonded so much tighter just in order to survive under the horrible conditions of his decision to desert us and try to support two places.<P>Financial crunch is on!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>And, in anger, h files a nasty petition and blames me for everything..........<P>Whatever.............<P>He can't even be reasoned with and children see through how he does not want to face them with what he has done. He talkes about jibberish instead of about the truth. Of course, he can't face the truth either--that he destroyed his family and he is destroying himself...<P>elo<P>

Hi Elo,<P> It sure sounds to me like in Harley terms any love you've had for your H is being depletd rapidly if not now completely gone. I'm sorry for what you are going through , it truly sounds like a nightmare......LU

elo,<P>I understand where you are coming from.<P>How are things going for you now? Any better?<P>All the best. --HBC

Hello Hurtbutcoping,<P>Thanks for your reply.<P>Your are so kind to ask how are going?<P>HOrrible, and looking worse.<P>Tonight, when I have more time, I talk more to you.<P>Now, I have to go pick my girls up from school.<P>Thanks, elo

Dear ELO,<P>Yes, to your first question about being too frazzled to care. Yesterday was the most recent episode. You know what? This scared H. Now he wants to talk more. Will post more on that later waiting for more definite results. Don't want to be planning on another let down. <P>Children see the truth. They in their own way will let your H know how they feel. Give that time. It seems that children feel they can not always tell their parents when they think their parents are doing something wrong unless the parents ask or they want something. <P>My son speaks about his father when I ask him, then he shares his opinion. It has really been an eye opener. He is only 6 years old. <P>Your H is in a state of mind and heart that can change at a moments notice. This is evident with his not being able to reason properly even with your children. <P>Therefore, it would be wise not to put much weight on his statements or decisions. If he is able to follow through on some of his decisions, work on a back up plan that reduces the negative impact. Otherwise, he may be making baseless threats which you don't need to swing with. <P>An upbeat note: Your kids will know who the stronger and more reliable parent is. Sometimes when they are older, they could try to play one off against the other. But all in all they know who is there for them. Be glad it is you.<P>L.

Lu, Hurtbutcoping, Orchid,<P>So glad to hear from you. How are your situations? Lately, I have been so preoccupied with my situation, I haven't posted too much. <P>Occasionally, I lurk and check to see if I have any additional responses. I have a concern for the rest of you and I hope that you situations are improving. <P>Orchid: I keep up with your posts. <BR>Lu and Hurtbutcoping: I would like to know more about your situations.<P>I agonize so deeply for my children. My son, esp., is being affected much more deeply with the absense of his father. My H can't see this and would deny it if I tried in any way to communicate this to him. He would actually blame me since I am the one here. That is the rational thinking of an Irrational person.<P>My H is a stranger to his own children.<P>Today, I had to to go court for a review of the Child support that I had to file for last August after my H stopped paying money to pay the bills here in our domicile.<BR>Obviously, it had reached the point when his family had to be put on the back burner.<P>Now, h is determined to have CHild support judgement to $0.00. WEll, when h and his spiffy attorney asked for a special setting to discuss this matter, the judge said--emphatically and absolutely NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<BR>So, she continued the hearing for a reduction for two months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>Now, I am sure that my h is hemorraging since he will continue to have his check garnished for 50%......<P>WEll, the garnishment would always be 50%, but he would have less deducted if the original amount were lowered.<P>Now, in the meantime, he filed a petition that is lurking out there. I finally had to retain an attorney to contest.<BR>This will be continued to late May. <P>This buys time. Maybe the affair will die... AT the present time, it doesn't appear so. I can actually print our h phone bill and see who and where the op is calling--calling her family and ex-husband and ex-husband family.<P>Know this because this woman has two DWI conviction and I got the info off the TExas Criminal records. She has <BR>SIX ALIASES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<BR>Will the REal Other Person please stand up? <P>WEll, I was tickled pink when the judge told this attorney<BR>No. He left with his tail between his legs! And my h was trailing out behind him--wondering what happened!<P>If my H follows through with this d, I want the record to reflect the following:<BR>1. Separation not mutual/voluntary on my part.<BR>2. Adultery<BR>3. Alcohol abuse/accidents/reckless driving.<BR>4. Defied paying child support judgment.<BR>5. Abandonment/desertion/family neglect<BR>6. Mismanagement of money/forgeries<P>Thanks for the kind words of encouragement about me being the parent who is there for my children. Yes, I have felt this all along. <P>What my h is doing is so foreign. Seeing h in court was difficult. He looked forlorn and pensive. I tapped him on the knee and when he looked up, I said hello. He said hello.<P>He was aware of my presence in courtroom and I found him looking at me and not even listening to his attorney.<P>CAn only speculate and wonder about his thoughts. I would be a fool to hold onto to any hope at this time.<P>May my answer to his petition will shake him up. I won't let my expectations go above -1. I expect the worst--the d.<P>I keep trying to focus on one day at a time. Projection is bad-can't tell what will really happen. <P>One thing for certain for now--petition is out there--I will answer it. <P>Whatever...survival...cope...pray...hope....<P>best to all, elo