I've never felt so sad and so rejected in my whole life. I took my ring off last night. It was a symbol of a never-ending love and commitment. In reality it was a love and commitment that never existed, at least not for her.<P>She says she has no energy left, nothing left with which to try. She's basically saying "I can't." The more truthful statement is "I won't." But it's easier for her to see this not as a decision she made, but a situation she has no control over.<P>She tells me she's angry because 3 years ago, she saw big problems. She felt that I was depressed, not meeting her needs, withdrawn, afraid of change. She want me to get into counseling, get things fixed or better. She feels like I did nothing. I did do some, but not enough. For what ever reason, I didn't get my [censored] in gear. And that's the bulk of the problem now. I was wrong of me not to get to work. <P>In the past few months I have shifted into high gear. I've learned a lot here. I've gone to counseling. I know how to make our marriage work and I want to get working with her. She says I've got some nerve expecting her to just get to work because <I> I'm </I> ready.<P>I was sick and wrong for not working when she was ready, and I'm sick and wrong for expecting her to work when I'm ready…<P>My marriage is over. I can't discuss any of this with her when the rules change form one second to the next. Nothing I say, no matter how smart, logical, correct, moral, loving, caring…nothing can touch her.<P>She has a boyfriend. She says he's got nothing to do with this.<P>I can't friggin' believe it, but my marriage is over.<P>I'm going to cry for a while now. Please keep my family in your prayers.<P>------------------<BR>Bill<BR>~~~~<BR>Remember the truth that once was spoken, "To love another person is to see the face of God."

Bill -<P>I don't know what to say, but my thoughts and prayers are with you. God's strength to you.

put your wedding ring back on. the papers aren't signed yet.

wld :<P>I took my rings off in January 27th when I filed and we have worked to get back together,,, I am wearing it now and I know how hard that is to take the ring off and how much it hurts your heart...<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{wld}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>hang in there and pray for guidance,,, use your intuition to work through this and I will pray for you also..<BR>C1

HI Bill,<P> Yeah right, the BF has nothing to do with it....it has EVERYTHING to do with it. How long does D take in your state? Can you stall? <P> Of course you did everything wrong, this is typical affair speak and yes, maybe you were wrong but she is using this as justification of her affair.<P>Have you read Suriving An Affair? There is a very good chance the affair won't last if you can wait it out. Maybe give the Harley's a call for advice....Hang in there, it's not over yet......LU <P>

Thanks to all of you for your responeses.<P>Love-was-blind, the ring is a symbol of something that doesn't exist. It also reminds me of the hope that's there. But it's that hope that's killing me. If she's going to turn around and fix things, then that's going to happen reguardless of my hope or my ring. My hoping for it won't help. I'm going to be the best me I can be no matter what. Feeling that bare finger throughout the day keeps me on the ground, and helps me to realize that this is real.<P>Concerned, God bless and good luck! I hope all goes well for you. Thanks for your hugs and prayers.<P>Lu, D takes about 3 months here in AZ. I can stall it with legal action, but not stop it. And stalling it won't help. And yes, I've read SAA. Great book. I wish I'd found it a long time ago. But I'm not sure it would have helped. She told me once that she doesn't understand how (or believe that) God can/would forgive her and love her after she's done some of the things she's done in her life. She doesn't believe God can forgive her. There's no way she'd ever believe <I> I </I> can forgive her.<P>Please keep us and our girls in your prayers.<P>Thanks again,<P>------------------<BR>Bill<BR>~~~~<BR>Remember the truth that once was spoken, "To love another person is to see the face of God."