Here's a quick synopsis: Married 24+ yrs. H had 1yr. EA/PA with his secretary. D-day Jul.21st; thought he was back w/ working on marriage Aug. 2000 turns out that A ended in Oct.OW ended it because he chose family over her (son had to go in for brain scan). Since they see each other everyday H has been pining over her since then (Oct.) Last weekend H decides he needs to leave so he can see what he has to lose and how important we are to him. Planned to leave after Easter.Turns out to be a lie. Never intended to think about family, just ploy to get OW to take him back. "I'm moving out and leaving my wife. If you take me back we can be together again"; found this out while he was in a drunken stupor last night after he finally showed up 1 1/2 hrs later than usual from his bowling league night.(spills his guts when drinking)H tells me, while he's crying, that OW said she would never take him back; that she doesn't want him anymore.(Will she change her mind today or tomorrow or the next? Who knows?)H says there's no reason to leave now. He has no where to go. I should decide if he should stay or leave. He's severely depressed and going through withdrawl big time. I suggested a therapist; he needs HELP.<P>So here's my question. Do I continue plan A not knowing if he'll ever want to work at this marriage? I think he's having a major Midlife Crisis here. I don't recognize the person I'm living with. And if so, how long? Jennifer Chalmers told H that he needed to leave job because of OW being there or consider plan B. This seemed drastic to me, but I don't know what he told her during his session (it was at work) and when I asked him to do a session together he said no. That it wouldn't help.HUH???? If OW changes her mind H is gone in a heartbeat. I've got a 13 yr at home who unfortunately heard every word his father said last night (including "if I had left instead of staying in Oct. when (son) had his MRI I'd still have her") <P>Advice on what to do and how to proceed would be great! I feel like the ultimate doormat!!!I honestly don't know what to do.

Just dropped by to say hi! Hang in there and be strong---both for you and A. You will make it through this and will come out on top! You are doing great!!!<P>You know you are welcome anytime you need to chat---hopefully the muskrats will stay away this time

CCC<p>[This message has been edited by KalGrl (edited April 10, 2001).]

My opinion Plan B kick him out until he gets his act together. From what I have read this MLC stuff can go on for years. Do you really want to live this way? You need to take care of you and your kids that should be your first priority. There is not much you can do for your H =this is something he has to deal with on his own. Maybe another session w/Jennifer but she has already suggested you go to Plan B.

In my opinion you should make a stand, not only for yourself but for your SON. He is going to be emotionally scared from now on by hearing how HIS MRI PREVENTED HIS FATHERS HAPPINESS! WHAT! Children don't forget when parents words hurts them emotionally. This man needs a serious wake-up call.