How do you know how often to talk about it. I am wondering if I am doing the right thing. My WS and I came real close to filing for a D last week, but when I realized she was still in the fog, I pulled back. I gave her a letter apologizing for giving her an ultimatum and told her she needed a safe haven to clear her head. I wrote that we can talk again when she's comfortable with it. Since then, we have been able to enjoy some peace. She is working extra , but I don't believe to avoid me. We had a very nice weekend. Ordered in food and vegged out in front of the TV. Talked about other things, even made plans for going to her Parents for Easter. I think this is the best approach right now, but I am questioning whether we are avoiding the problem. I don't think so. I kind of think of it as a respite to get comfortable with each other after Bloody Sunday. Am I doing the right thing, and when and how should I approach talking about the problems again ?<BR>I am reading all of these post and I must admit, I sometimes wonder if any of this stuff really works.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Mark H

Hi Mark,<P>My wife and I are very happy as long as nothing is discussed. Well maybe she is happy. But in the back of my mind are always unanswered questions. They will probably always stay there until one day my wife decides to talk about all her feelings and why she did this. By that time she may have forgotten everything. I think you are doing the right thing. The hardest thing is to forgive and forget. It is almost impossible and is a true test of your character. But if your wife cares for you, cares for your feelings and really wants the marriage to last, then I would say slowly over time she should start to talk about this. But if she see anger when she talks, she will clam up real fast. These are delicate situations. How to get the wife to talk without annoying them? Why should we be the ones to feel bad about hurting our wive's feelings. I guess because we do not want to lose them. So being practical we have to watch what we say no matter how we feel. In time we might feel different than today. This should be the case.

While I have only been here for a couple of weeks,, if you read what you just said,,,, You wrote a nice note where you didnt Lb and then you worked on your relationships (spent time together, conversed, etc) these are all EN and they are probably some of her EN and you met them that weekend... so looks like it works to me :-)<BR>Keep working at it and dont give up.... <BR>blessings.<BR>C1