I hope this is the right place to post. Three years ago my husband had an affair. We were in counseling for more than a year and I really thought I got past it. I did not throw it in his face when we had arguments. This affair went on for 4 months and he says that he ended it as soon as I found out. I did not set out to have an affair but I ended up having one. It has been going on for the last 8 months and my husband just found out about it. He was furious. He feels very betrayed but so did I. I told him he asked for it. I really have no guilt about the affair and told him this. He demanded I end it but I realy don't want to. I love this man and we have been planning to make a life together. Am I an evil person? It's like I just don't give a damn about my marriage anymore.

Deleted...<p>[This message has been edited by LostNco (edited April 14, 2001).]

JD,<P>I don't know about evil person, but a very mean one seems to fit. You knew the pain, you knew he came back to you, but you could not forgive him. Now, you have one upped him. Are you proud?? Do you feel better? I suspect the answer is no or you wouldn't be posting here and asking these questions.<P>I know you think he deserved it, but JD no one deserves what you are doing. More importantly, morally there is no defense for what you are doing. You may think that OM is your future, but statistics show you only have about 3% chance of a successful marriage with him, if you divorce your H and marry him.<P>I am sure you don't give a damn about your marriage anymore. You are in the midst of an affair, and in a fog. But one day you will come out of it, whether your marriage lasts or not and when you do you will realize something your H already knows. You will realize your H didn't deserve what you have done. You will realize that you are not a person to be trusted. And finally you will realize you cannot trust your OM. He cheated with a married woman with no remorse.<P><BR>My only real question for you, is if the OM is soo good, why did you have an 8 month affair? Why didn't you divorce H and move on? Don't tell me your vows, you claim to have no guilt or remorse.<P>JD, I think you are lying. I think above all else you are lying to yourself and you do know what you are doing is wrong. You do know that you really have no justification for what you are doing. <P>I would offer you some advice, but you really haven't ask anything but are you in the right place. My answer to that is I hope so. The people here can help you, if you want it.<P>God Bless,<P>JL<P><BR>