You just popped into my mind. How are you doing????

LostNco,<BR>Don't worry...still here. Had a little server 'glitch' at the office, and haven't been able to visit during the day.<P>I want to thank you so much for taking the time and energy to help me with my ugly situation...BUT... now you have yourself to think about.<BR>I've been reading some of your more recent posts, and I can't believe that you would even spend time with me given what your going through right now.<BR>God how I feel for you.<BR>I was much the same when I found out.<BR>When he told me the only words I could utter were a whispered 'get out', and then I ran for the bedroom.<BR>I paced, I cried, I shook, I threw up...<BR>I sunk down in a mass and couldn't move, couldn't think...couldn't believe it.<BR>This couldn't be true, please God NO!!! was all I remember saying to myself...and I had 3 days warning that this was going to happen.<BR>He didn't leave that night...and I didn't sleep a wink.<BR>I was up at 5 the next morning...chain smoked...stared at him asleep on the sofa...<BR>Finally I dressed and went to the office.<BR>By about 2 or so I had a meltdown...called my stepmom, told her what had happened, and she left her work early to meet me at her place.<BR>I told her everything. It took hours.<BR>At the end of it all I was exhausted, but stable - her listening had been enough just then.<BR>You're not alone...we are all here for you...each of us feeling for what your feeling this minute...we've been there...we understand.<BR>LostNco...allow yourself to take care of you. Do whatever you need to cope.<BR>Please...PLEASE don't make any decisions just yet...so much can happen in the next while. NONE of this is final...not yet.<BR>One thing to remember when your able is this...<BR>Affairs exist in their own little bubble - the real world isn't allowed in. They don't see eachother's faults, they have no real life responsibilities...it's just an exagerated infatuation.<BR>If they make a decision to be together all of a sudden they have to deal with all the reality that goes with it. They start to see eachother in a different light, and realize that it can't possibly work. Some take longer than others, but most of the time they see that being with the other person is a MISTAKE...and they decide to come back home.<BR>I read this in a book called: Infidelity...a survival guide by Don-David Lusterman. Get it if you can...it saved my sanity. Also read the plan A, plan B on this site if you haven't already...it will be time for action soon.<BR>Also...there is another site called infidelity.com. (I hope it's ok to mention that) There is a man there called 'the lucky half' husband of a woman named 'still together'. He was the wayward spouse...he left his wife for the other woman for six months...and then came home. Their marriage has overcome the affair, and they are both very happy today. He is very willing to talk about what he was thinking and doing at the time of the affair...He's helped me to understand much about what a man in an affair thinks like, and has given me many suggestions about how to deal with my husband...perhaps he could offer you some help now if you're able to put out that much energy. You can find him in the 'infidelity and cheating' forum on that site.<BR>I don't know if any of this can help you right now...but seeing you on the site after you've found out tells me that your wanting to DO something, which is why I've made these suggestions - I hope you don't mind.<BR>Be good to yourself...this is NOT your fault...and you DO have enough strength somewhere inside to make it until tomorrow. <BR>That's all you need to do right now...make it till tomorrow...and then all of us here will help you get through to the next day.<BR>You're not alone.<P>My thoughts and prayers are with you.<BR>Please post when you can and let me know how you are.<P>If you need a lifeline, my home e-mail is posted in NSR's e-mail exchange from a few days back...send me a note there if you'd like. I know I'm a complete stranger, but we have this in common, and I will listen if you'd like me to.<P>-Anna<BR>

Been thinking of you today, how are you holding up?

I'm actually ok. It's odd, I think I'm still in major shock. I'm at work and can function just fine. <P>I don't know why, but I just thought of you and wanted to see how you were doing. I think my care giver came out in me at that time. My body went into shock to protect itself from everything, but my care giver popped out.<P>I will be ok, I will get through this, it will be ok <P>Now really, tell me how you are!!!!

I'm glad to hear that your doing ok...got a little worried yesterday. <BR>It's a strange feeling when that whole 'shock' thing kicks in isn't it?<BR>On the up side, at least it lets us function at work hmmm?<BR>Sometimes I swear that's the only reason I'm still employed. .<BR>As far as things with me go...I suppose I'm holding up all right. I've decided to try and close the door on betty's ramblings. There's no way she's doing me any favors, so truth or not I'm going to try and let it go. Bottom line is that my husband was with her, and that's really the issue...not this foolish stuff she would have me believe.<BR>This has been a tough week for Joe and I. I've been really shortfused and irratible lately without much reason why - it's been frustrating for us both. We couldn't even have a productive conversation.<BR>It took me until today to figure out what the problem is...damn those stupid triggers!<BR>You see...Easter is coming...and Joe has really been looking forward to spending the time together as a 'family'. I couldn't figure out why that just didn't sit right with me...but today it hit.<BR>Easter is a fairly big deal in my family, so I see it as a significant holiday. Christmas is the other big one for us (in terms of family).<BR>Given that all through Christmas I was walking around thinking that we were a happy family enjoying a very special time full of love, closeness, thankfulness blah blah blah...and now knowing that he was walking around all wraped up in betty - thinking that he didn't want our marriage or family anymore - I'm feeling BITTER.<BR>I'm not interested in celebrating at all.<BR>I know I need to make an effort for the sake of the kids, but honestly I would be happy to spend some time alone - sort of take a mental holiday.<BR>I'm just so damn tired of all the effort it takes to just function everyday. I'm tired of trying to be a good mom, do well at work, stay level and calm every day. It's all so exhausting.<BR>I want some time out! I'm on overload, and just don't want to deal with everyday life for a while. I want to be selfish, and take a couple of days just for me.<BR>And it's Easter.<BR>Ugh.<BR>So there it is.<BR>Now, my husband and I are planning to have a 'talk' in a few minutes...I hope I can explain all this to him without making him angry or hurt. I just want him to understand where I'm coming from so that the weekend isn't a total disaster full of arguments and crap.<BR>Wish me luck.<P>Also...take care of you, and let me know how things are when you can.<BR>I hope the shock feeling wears off slowly...it's easier when it happens like that.<P>Good thoughts and prayers to you.<BR>-SoDuped.<BR>

Hey there Lost...<BR>I was thinking of you, and just wanted to check in.<BR>How are you holding up?<BR>Have you got any plans for Easter?<BR>I hope all is going as well as it can be.<P>I spent some time on the infidelity site last nite and sent a note to 'The lucky half'. He was a WS.<BR>I asked him to come to the MB site and post to you under your thread asking WS for advice. He has many insiteful things to say, and I believe he could answer your questions in a helpful and constructive way...I know he's really been a great help to me in understanding where my husband is at sometimes.<BR>I hope that wasn't overstepping.<P>Take care, and let me know how you're doing.<BR>Hugs to you...and happy Easter!!