Here is an update and a couple questiions. I told my WS about a week ago he needed to make a decision because it wasn't fair to anyone to continue this way. He talked about the pros and cons and even asked how I thought things would be different if he decided to come back to the marriage. In the end he said he probably needed to leave so he could do some thinking. I told him then I guess that's what you need to do. Anyway, after having said that and taking a week to make arrangements to take our camper and stay in a campground, he has been more affectionate and more communicative. He has told the kids that he is going camping for a couple weeks and just today told our daughter (16) it was for 1 week. He said that him and I could "go out", kind of a date thing and that he would invite me to the camper for a card game. I'm not sure at this point if I should continue to Plan A - be his friend, supportive, etc. or maybe a modified Plan A or go to Plan B. Should I date him? Continue to talk (he still calls me at work 2-3 times each day)?<P>He asked me how he would go about ending it with OW. Told him he would need to not see her anymore - no contact. That would be very difficult because they work together - him being military means he can't quit his job and she can't either, plus they were/will be required to travel together (in a group setting). Any suggestions on this one? Does this all sound like we may be moving toward recovery? Sometimes it feels like we are actually working on our marriage, yet he still has contact with OW. It's all kind of weird. Is this all typical also? Has anyone else experienced this?<P>Your insights and opinions are appreciated.<P>Thanks,<BR>Darlene

Darlene<P>I would still do plan A for a time. Atleast for the 1st week. But the final decision is yours and yours alone.<P>I know that it is very difficult. He is trying to make a decision and you are still very much in the picture. He is vasilating between you and her. If he doesnt come to a decision / realization in what ever time frame is right for you, then plan B.<P>I think sometimes, the WS needs to have a wake up call and moving out, not seeing the kids daily or you daily but still in contact might be enough to provide that call.<P>Good luck. I hope this helps

Darlene - in accordance with Plan A, you should try to meet any emotional need he allows you to. This includes accepting his invitations for dinner, etc. What you didn't mention were the chnages you have made and can demonstrate to him. His invitations are a golden opportunity to demonstrate your improvements. Plan A is more about you than him. Continue doing this for as long as you can. Ask him to write a no contact letter - offer to help - and try to determine by his actions whether he follows through with the committment. You are no where close to Plan B. If you are confused, read the primers on Plan A/B and Surving an Affair and His Needs/Her Needs.<P>If he is sincere about ending it with OW, you are well on your way to the opportunity to recover. The work situation is unfortunate, but ask questions about this on the In Recovery forum.<P>WAT