How many people on here have had a separtation or divorce and at the time you wanted your spouse and they didnt want you? and after some time they came back and wanted to work on things and you were at the stage of not wanting to get back with them.

Been there, lived that.<P>YOU have to decide what YOU will do to save YOUR marriage if that is, indeed, what YOU want. You cannot allow THEM (or her in your case, him in mine) to determine that.<P>Back and forth, back and forth... how well I understand it...<P>In the end, I got the divorce...but was it what I wanted? Yes and No. <P>In hindsight, I *should* have held on longer... but I didn't.<P>On the other side of the coin, I am now in a "healthy" relationship and know what it's like -- my marriage was VERY UNHEALTHY. But I **couldn't** realize HOW unhealthy without this experience to show me...<P>Am I making sense? I wonder sometimes! <P>Bottom line, BioMan, if you want to save your marriage (and it isn't based on "feelings" as much as things like integrity, honor) we will support you. If you want to end your marriage because you've TRIED YOUR BEST and there is NO OTHER CHOICE, we will support you.<P>It's the decision that's difficult, eh? How well I understand.<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

I was there. I had started a new relationship with an old friend that was going to progress, and then, he wanted home. I took him back only at first for the kids, they were in horrible shape. I thought it was my duty for them, and it was the right thing to do. 16 months later, we are very happy, and I'm glad I took the chance. It was a lot of hard work, but worth it.

I went through some weird feelings for a while. I think pressure from our youngest (age 20) and problems he is having sometimes make me want to run home to mamma just not to have to deal with it. There are times when triggers make me think back on the awful times and I get kind of sad. I do love my H and I'm happy we worked it out.