This weekend is my birthday! Even I am on plan A, my H was going to move out this Mon.. I told him please give me a nice birthday week to remember and he is doing just that- come home every day after work,try to be nice to me. But deep down I feel that I only have 4 more days to live for. What will happen when next monday comes, I will have nothing to keep him with me anymore.<BR>I live every min. as it is my last and put it deeply in my heart. My H is totally made up his mind to be with the OW(at least he think so). I will really need you out there pray for me, give me some success story and hope something will happen to keep he stay with me. <BR>I never pray to God before, now I will give myself to him and hope he will know what is best for me.<BR>After all,I only have 4 days to live now!

Make the most of the time you have. You cannot control what he will or won't do, but you can do what it takes to look back on your last few days together and know you did all you could do to make him feel safe, welcome and loved at home. Even if he does decide to leave, don't feel as if your life is over. Take care of yourself and continue to pray for your situation. I'll be thinking about you.

trying to live:<P>I think it is GREAT that your husband has agreed to stay with you this week. I think that you are being given a great opportunity to put lots of units in your "love bank."<P><B>But even if he leaves then, you still have plenty to live for!</B><P>My advice would be to enjoy these days up to and including your birthday as much as you can. Remember all the fun, exciting times you have had with your husband.<P><B>And know that you are a Good Person.</B> I know that it is incredibly hard to bear the pain when you find out about another woman, but you can do it.<P>You will live through this. Your life will go on.<P>Stay with us, trying. Keep posting.<P>Blessings.<BR>Kat =^^=

I know that you are hurting. When I found out I hurt to, lost 35 pounds, withdrew from everyone, cried all the time.I couldn't get up and sing in front of my church, I couldn't function. Yes, you think your life is ending. But guess what, you will sing again, as my name says. You will see that this God's way of showing how to become a better person and quite possibly how to build a better marriage.<P>Keep your chin up and smile even when it hurts. Tell your husband you will respect his wishes and then everytime you get a chance show him that you are better than the OW.<P>You'll see God is there for you and has a whole lot more to give you. I will pray for you.<BR>

How are you today, trying?<P>We care.<P>You have a lot to live for no matter whether your marriage flourishes or not.<P>Hang in there. It will get better.<P>All the best.<BR>--HBC

Do not be by yourself...<P>See a counselor, doctor, minister, priest, or whoever you can.<P>Also... check out... these sites...<BR>...print them and tape them to your walls.<P><B>Suicide</B><BR><A HREF="http://suicidal.com/suicidecrisiscenter/" TARGET=_blank>Suicide Crisis Center... 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)</A><BR><A HREF="http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.suicide.html/" TARGET=_blank>Suicide and Suicide Prevention</A><BR><A HREF="http://www.newlife.com/info.asp#gethelp" TARGET=_blank>1-800-NEW-LIFE</A><P><B>Loss/Hurt/Pain</B><BR><A HREF="http://www.survivingloss.com/" TARGET=_blank>Surviving Loss</A><BR><A HREF="http://www.jmministries.org/help.htm" TARGET=_blank>Help for the Hurting/Joyce Meyer Ministries</A><BR><A HREF="http://www.kconline.com/hephzibah/articles/BrokennessWhy.html" TARGET=_blank>BROKENNESS BRINGS BLESSING</A><P>You don't know this...<BR>...but you are loved... here in particular.<P> <P>Jim

One thing that I have learned about God is that he never throws you something that you can't handle. Life is one big learning experience, and while I know that things seems hopeless right now, you have to trust that your life is precious. You are losing a major part of your life...but <B>when</B> you make it through this, you will discover within yourself an amazing strength. It's in all of us...but it's up to you to find it.<P>All things happen for a reason. I hope that you are able to find your self-worth, hon. Keep posting, and keep learning...we will (try ) to help you every step of the way. Many of us have gone through what you have gone through. <B>YOU CAN MAKE IT!</B>

Dear TTL2,<P>You are among new friends. We have gone through many similar situations. I would like to share with you some info that I am sure will help you. <P>First of all, your H's statements are not always to be counted on. Don't take everything he says literally or personally. He is in the fog, thinks he has his head on straight but really walking backwards. Totally losing his sense of direction. So when he tells you something and you run with it (react accordingly) you also become disoriented and confused. <P>I have a post out there where I state I feel that my H is pulling me back in the fog. It is true, whether they know it or not, WS's try to pull Bs's into the fog. You need to develope the strength to recognize these signs and how to work with them. <P>First you need to strengthen yourself. Build your support group (friends, relatives, children, co-workers/boss, counselors, etc.). Don't forget us here at MB, there is a great group here that have been through almost everything. Try to find 1 thing in the day to smile about. Your child's laughter, a beautiful flower, reaching a goal, etc. Keep yourself occupied, bettering your own self image, work with bettering someone else. <P>Doing the above will help you prepare for when the fog lifts and your H may want to come home. Right now take everything he says and does with a grain of salt. Read the book Surviving an Affair, His needs/Her needs and do the quewstionnaires. H & I had a phone counseling session with Steve Harley. I would like to have more. <P>Please post back to when soon and keep in touch. <P>L.<BR>

It is finally Fri, today. Although I try to count min. by min. the time still past so fast. Thank you all for the suport. My H is in his best pretent mode and that make me wonder what is up for me next.<BR>We went out to dinner every day this week( except the hockey night) and he is so distanced. He will not say "love you" unless I said it first, he will not touch me if I do not do so and he almost can not find a topic for conversation if I do not speak first. All that hurt me so much, but still I do not show it in my face. The first thing he do every day afer getting home from work is getting 3-4 drinks. Can he face me without the booz ?<BR>Last night I went to bed and think- may be it is best if I stop the whole thing now, I just can not take it anymore. He is so fake and never think for me anymore. Then I think all the things you have gone through and I was able to keep my mouth shut and aviod a LB.<BR>I have 3 days left with him, after that I do not think he is going to pretent anymore. I want to enjoy these three days, but with all the pressure I will really have to keep self control in order to go through it without mess it up.<BR>Thank you all out there. I will keep you posted. Please pray for us.

Hang in there, trying.<P>Your world will continue even if your husband does leave.<P>You will be okay again. You can make it.<P>Please read the info Jim (NSR) has given you. Bless his heart, Jim has been through a lot and has been able to teach us all so much, in part I'm sure because of the great info he finds on the web to help when the going gets tough.<P>You cannot control your husband. You can only hope to control yourself.<P>Live every day so that you can look in the mirror and say, "I'm proud to be me." If you can do that, things just seem to start falling into place. Maybe not the way you had envisioned, but a good way nonetheless.<P>Come here and blow off steam any time you need to. If nothing else, we are good listeners.<P>All the best.<BR>--HBC

You will be okay, trying.<P>We are here. You are loved.<P>Please post back.<P>Brightest blessings to you<BR>Kat =^^=

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by trying to live2:<BR><B>This weekend is my birthday! Even I am on plan A, my H was going to move out this Mon.. I told him please give me a nice birthday week to remember and he is doing just that- come home every day after work,try to be nice to me. But deep down I feel that I only have 4 more days to live for. What will happen when next monday comes, I will have nothing to keep him with me anymore.<BR>I live every min. as it is my last and put it deeply in my heart. My H is totally made up his mind to be with the OW(at least he think so). I will really need you out there pray for me, give me some success story and hope something will happen to keep he stay with me. <BR>I never pray to God before, now I will give myself to him and hope he will know what is best for me.<BR>After all,I only have 4 days to live now!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Where are you <B>trying to live</B>????<P>*I* am praying for your right now... for those times you feel to weak to do it yourself...<P>Please check in!!!!<BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

Dear Trying..... I know that you are having so many different emotions right now that you don't when to start and stop thinking. Everyone here at this sight cares about everyone and how they feel at every turn. You should post here as often as you can. God always has a plan, he will always be with you. Your guardian angel is watching over you too. God led you to this site, and there are alot of people who have been going through rollercoaster rides that just seem to keep going and going but through it all God loves you and he will carry when you think you don't have the strength to forge ahead but remember even people you don't see face to face will love and hold you close to their hearts and prays. You are not alone, come here to gain strength and confidence because you are a loving person and your prayers will be answered by God, his will not our will be done and it will be more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. I know that you will be in everyone's prayers now and know that you are embraced by the light of God and that is good. Try to get plenty of rest and quiet time to reflect on your thoughts but always seek out others who have been through all of this kind of unhappiness and things will turn around. I promise. Hugs and Kisses. Truthseeker123

<small>[ February 08, 2005, 10:19 AM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Trying,<P>Your husband doesn't need the drinks to face you. He needs them to face himself and this world. He wouldn't turn to another women if he felt good about himself. <P>He loves you or he wouldn't have stayed this week for your birthday. He would have left. Enjoy your time with him and treat him with love. Act as if he is not leaving. Please relaxe.<P>I felt the same way when my husband left last year but I was not as brave as you. I didn't post my feelings of wanting to die. I did come here to read and learn. I learned that there are many more people who shared my pain.<BR>There is always hope. EVERYTHING is possible for God.<P>I cried out to God and ask Him to show me His will and through this forum I was lead several web sites. The following site is were God showed me His will for me and my marriage.I gained hope hear when I read the testimonies. Please go I know it will help you.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> <BR>I cried like the biggest baby on my birthday.Cry out to the Lord, He hears you!<BR>gentle

ttl2:<P>Your post just touched my heart tonight. I have felt, even tonight, as you have felt. It's a lonely scary feeling. I know. It sounds so trite to hear things like Carolina Belle said, that God give you no more than you can handle, but it is true. We MUST belive that. There have to be better days ahead. <P>Have you ever wondered if maybe God is giving you a message through all of this? I think so for myself, but I'm still looking for it. I know how your heart hurts. I know how you don't feel that you can go on. There have been a few times that I would have probably ended it too, had I not reached out. Just like you have... Take care of you. <P>Let your H go to the OW. He will eventually wake up - hopefully, YOU will not have moved on by then. Though I know this doesn't ease the pain right now, time is the greatest healer. Get through the next 30 minutes, the next hour... <P>Satan is working and winning on your husband. Don't let him win with you. Be strong for YOU!<P>PS If you are not a Christian, I'm sorry if I have offended you.

Dear TTL,<P>Gentle is spot on with the reasons behind the drinking when he gets home. It is because he cannot face himself.<P>You must not take the things he says and does as being a reflection on yourself. If he is in the fog he will say and do almost anything to justify his relationship with the OW.<P>If he does move in with her remember that they will not always be smiling and happy, there will be arguements and unhappiness. He may not know what she is really like until he has to live with her. <P>As everyone has said, time is a great healer. That may seem hard to believe from where you are now, but my H has been gone for over a year and today I can laugh, sing and best of all get 8 hours sleep a night. A year ago, I would have said that could never be. <P>Have patience and trust in your God, <BR>all things come to he who waits.<P><BR>Hope<P>PS. Hope you birthday is a happy one.<p>[This message has been edited by hope257 (edited April 21, 2001).]

you guys drive me to my tears when I check in this morning. I have been tie up with my H this weekend and wasn't able to post back till now.<BR>Now, my B-day has pasted and my H till live in with me before he went to work this morning. I do not know what his though will be after work though, because the OW is his coworker. He did feel a lot of pressure, this morning he wake up at 4:30 and can not go back to sleep. I feel so bad for him, I touch his hair genteelly and almost want to end his pain by let him go. <BR>I will have to post my reply in different time since each one of you is like my family in US. So, be patient with me.<BR>Janie, foolishKat, singingagain, orchid, hanora I took your advice and show my best this weekend, it was so hard when you think the clock is ticking. So many time I just want to tell my H I am out, but your posts are like a thousand pair of angle's wings calm me down and give me some more strength to go on. We did have a good time after all thanks all for praying for us. I will have to be even stronger to face the coming week since I do not know where it will lead us. I will have to run now and will be back with more thoughts. Once again thank you all.