Easter Sunday , and my W was flying home from her sisters house (a family emergency). I was watching the kids while she was gone. On the way to the airport, I called her on her cell phone and left her a long message telling her how much I loved her (or so I thought). At some point, I got cut off, so I called her back. I have access to her voice mail so I checked to see how much of the message I left. Imagine my horror when I heard a message from OM telling her how much he loves her and how sad he was that he could not talk to her. And again how much he was in love with her. Needless to say my W and I got into it big time. She supposedly has not been communicating with him in weeks - WRONG!! Now says there is no hope for us and that I am borderline psychotic and a stalker. She asked for my attorney's name so that she can file from attorney to attorney. <P>I am beyond sad. I love my W with all my heart. And until OM came into scene my W told me all the time how lucky she was and how much she loved me. Now she says I suffocated her and took her soul. The only thing I have left in my life is my children. And she is going to try to get custody of them. How can I get over this and not still love her. The thought of her with an OM makes me sick to my stomach. I want my life and my wife back. <P>How do I get her out of the fog. Her mom is going to try to talk some sense into her. But I'm not sure that will work. I know that she will eventually see the errors of her ways. But it may be too late when she finally does.<P>Any help would be grateful.<BR>S&C

I don't really have any good advice. I know how miserable this all is. I am scared to look into things (even get my mail) for fear of what I might find. It is no way to live. When things have come up he just gets defensive and says this isn't going to work. I think it is their way of dealing with it. I think with time they will realize the mistakes they have made. My husband also tells me I am nuts to check bills, phone messages, etc. but they made us that way. We weren't like that before and I know I don't enjoy being like this. Best of luck to you.....

I have no real advice, either. I know the hurt you must have felt when hearing the message. Give her some time and maybe she will calm down somewhat just to be able to talk to her.