I was just reading the thread on Proverb 5 and the link to the article. Orchid you said that you gave, read to your H. How does he react to your little insights of reality. Is this a LB telling them what they are doing is wrong, or is it you the loving spouse giving them information, because you love them, and you want to provide them with all information they need to make sure they are making a sound, decision.<P>I would like to give this to my H but I seem to be doubting everything I do now a days. <P>Hopelessmom

Isn't one of Harley's principles that while in plan A you do no education? I would consider this education.<P>Of course, the WS thinks that what they have is different and special. So this would not apply to them. They will be together forever. Their love is pure and the best thing that has ever happened to them.<P>Oh barf

Being special is dangerous. I think until my H came here, he thought his "relationship" was somewhat special. The fog had mostly gone by then and MB helped to clear the rest. H<P>His was an internet begun EA,that progressed to a PA,pretty rapidly. And ended three weeks in to the PA.<BR>We came here about 6 months from Dday.<P>When he read some of the stuff about how As start and the things WS and OW say to one another and what the WS says to the BS to justify, it was like he had read the textbook for how to have an A. It was so classic and common. <P>I guess what I'm trying to say is that he learned it on his own. I printed a thread for him,just one, and he now checks in almost every day. It has helped us hugely.<P>Hopeless Mom, Any chance he will read himself? I asked my H to read that first thread and said if he didn't want to,I would understand. But in the interest of helping our M any way he could, he did read it. And was glad he did.

Hi Hope,<P>I am at work and should be going home (this is suppose to be a vacation day for me). Just quickly, yes I read it to H this morning. H is still in the fog. I do not consider it an LB since it is coming from a very reliable source that puts it better than anyone else. <P>Can't argue with God. It is also good to know these are not my words but I am in harmony with it. Now if H wants to argue he can, but not just with me. <P>See, H tries to justify why OW gets mad or why H is out there. There is no justification from Prov 5. The scriptures do not say yea, OW and H are doing bad but since they have good points to it is ok so don't make a big deal about their bad actions. No, it says OW and the like are wrong, no need to look for their good points, they are still doing wrong. Only those who want to cover over & hide their errors will look for excuses. The fog!!!!<P>H needs to know that. I am not the only one that has his number and can see his attitude. I don't care if OW thinks she is ok because she has a couple of good qualities. I don't have to care. I have it from the highest source and a lot of others that what they are doing is wrong and can never be justified. That is all I need. <P>So I don't think it is wrong to share it with the WS. My take. Been there done that and I don't feel bad. In fact, I feel a bit relieved. Now the word of caution is that how you deliver this info needs to be with love. If it is not received well, then shake the dust off your feet, you have done your part. <P>I just wanted to add, that your H's view of the Bible may impact how he takes this infomation. For me, H does respect the written word so quotes from the Bible are effective. Now if we could just get to the application part. ..... <P>L.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Orchid (edited April 19, 2001).]

Hi hopelessmom. I don't have any tremendous insight or advice to offer you, but I've been following your story since I discovered this site a little over a month ago and I've meant for a long time to tell you how heart-broken I am by it. How a man can so casually abandon his wife and three small children is just beyond me. I am also stunned by how much suffering you've been able to endure while still holding hope that your marriage can be restored. You're an inspiration, you know, and your story has touched many more people than you realize. You haven't suffered alone. Many of us have been offering silent support to you through all of this. I feel so awful for you and your children that I couldn't let your return to GQ II go unnoticed. I hope things can be better for you very soon. You're a remarkable woman.<P>If I'm not mistaken, the post Wounded is making reference to is my original post, "Come on baby lift my fog." It's hard to believe it's only been a little over a month since I posted it. So much has changed for me for the better that it feels like years ago that I came here. I don't know how your husband would respond to reading the posts people make here. He might just be resentful and dismiss everything he reads. He seems utterly unwilling to believe he is doing anything wrong (which makes me furious), so it's hard to say what he will do. However, if you have the strength, you've got nothing to lose by trying. If it goes badly, you can just add it to the list of efforts you've made that he's ignored. You must understand that you have the high ground here. I can't believe the suffering you've endured for him.<P>Not much advice, I know, but I wanted you to know how many people are rooting for you. All the best to you and your kids.