Sing,<P>I read your statement in another post about you standing by your marriage for two years and still your husband has distanced himself from you.<P>I was wondering if you ever went into a Plan B situation or if you have always been in Plan A. I am in a similiar situation with my wife. Even though she has moved out and is still seeing OP, I have deep reservations about going into Plan B even though I have been advised to by Steve Harley. It's hard to explain. Maybe I just don't think I've proven enough to my wife in Plan A yet. I have already tried once to make the move, and it lasted about six hours. I had trouble with worrying how Plan B might effect my kids, who were informed by me of my wife's affair at the same time.<P>I still don't see myself moving into Plan B anytime soon and that somehow worries me. I don't believe that I am losing my love for my wife. But I am afraid that as time goes on, she may lose more respect because she may think I am "clinging" to her. We still talk quite often to check on each other. I'll admit that I'm still guilty of sending her an e-card once in a while to tell her I love her and miss her. This usually happens about once every two weeks.<P>Any thoughts?

AH,<P>No I have never made it to Plan B. There are several reasons but mainly every time I have come close my H did something to change things. <P>After not living at home for 6 months he moved back in March 00, made me think we were going to rebuild.<P>After leaving the hospital in May 00 to go home with OW, he is calling begging me not to do anything rash, we move overseas, promises he will give her up if we come 8/00. <P>Well, he has never done so. I did an all right plan A in 1999 through summer of 2000, but since we have been in Asia I have just survived. All I have done is set around & feel sorry for myself for believing his lies. <P>I am turning into a very bitter person, I hate that my unhappiness has affected my sons, especially OS. I have been in the wait & see mode to see what H is going to do but I don't think I have the strength to wait. <P>I have been thinking about sending 1 more Plan A type letter, outlining that I still think we can rebuild & why, this time push for a recovery plan & if he doesn't agree well, I will have to get my backbone out & leave or start the plans for leaving & divorce. At this point a Plan B would be pointless.<P>I really believe most of us stay in Plan A way too long. Of course I can say that but I know it is harder to do than it sounds especially with kids. But my H & I have little communication between us now, don't think he miss not having any from me, most likely he wouldn't even notice. <P>I do believe if Steve is encouraging you to Plan B, you should. Like I said it is harder than it sounds. <P>Prayers to you,<BR>Sing<BR>