<BR>I am troubled by the notion that my situation has been *used* (for lack of a better term) to condone an affair. <P>I suppose I should have realized that it could happen. But I honestly never considered that it would happen -- and am saddened by it, nonetheless.<P>I am all over the boards these days, and my story is out there for the world to see. I don't think I need to re-tell it here (a collective sigh of relief heard all over MB). <P>My ONLY INTENT when I came back here was to tell WHAT NOT TO DO... and I have reached out to those whom I can "shake" a bit with my reality. Yes, I have seen this from all sides (having been both betrayed and betrayer) and yes, I have knowledge of all sorts of subjects -- because I *could* have been pregnant after my one hop in the sack, and I *did* have some type of sexually transmitted disease after #OW 1 of my ex's, and I have gone into deep depression (I'm still on Zoloft), and my ex still has the OW that helped to end the marriage, and I am divorced... so many little and big things that add up to an intimate knowledge I wish I didn't have.<P>I have never come on to say, "Hey! Dump the bum." I believe in marriage.<P>I have never come on to say, "I'm in love, I'm in love, with the new guy!! We're getting married, yippie!!" or "Life is sooo much better now that I rid myself of that ball and chain named David"... and I can't imagine a scenerio where I will.<P>My purpose, again, is to share insight borne of complete and utter pain.<P>I do not condone affairs.<BR>I believe in marriage -- and lifelong fidelity.<BR>I love people, and want to help.<BR>I am human.<P>I know this all sounds very self-oriented, and for that I apologize. I don't actually expect anyone to write replies, because, frankly, what could you say?<P>I do, however, want it understood that NOBODY belongs on these boards promoting infidelity.<P>That I'm okay and here to tell you my story is nothing short of a miracle.<P>I want all of us to have a miracle -- within ourselves, and within our marriages. <P>I have written a copy of this to the D/D forum as well, since that is where the post that brought this on originated. I want to make sure that anyone who cares will see it.<P>Thank you for reading and listening.<P>May all of us find peace and love in our sphere of the world -- and share it!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

<B>Sheryl - </B>I am troubled that events came to the crux where you had to post this note. I'm sure that you are aware, however, that your situation will <B>always</B> be fodder for someone's <I>rationalization</I>, something we see more and more here.<P>I referred to part of the problem in a reply to CB's post. People now don't take the time to research a person's postings to get a better idea of their story before using that story as justification or as the basis for an attack.<P>Actually, as painful as some of the discourses in the last couple of days have been, I see them as somewhat "cathartic" for the board. Long-building tensions and frustrations being let go, rose-colored glasses coming off and much, much fodder for thought. In the long run, it is really a *good* thing.<P>Yup, I agree, the fact that you even survived your travails is nothing short of a miracle. What is unknown to most of today's posters is the wringing of the soul that you went through. There are those who hold Lori or Terri up as "poster-children" for Plan A. I would submit that you could be a poster-child for *survival* or overcoming incredible odds.<P>Platonic hugs, my good friend,<P>--DeWayne--

new beginning,<P>Please know that I do not try to use your or anyone else's actions to try to condone what I am doing.<P>Blessings.<BR>Kat =^^=

Thanks <B>DeWayne</B> and <B>Kat</B>, for the support and love... platonic or otherwise!! <P>I really wasn't expecting any replies, so it's nice to see some...<P>Hugs, Sheryl

Sheryl -- My thoughts and prayers are with you now.<P>I replied to the post over on the deivorcing thread. I may not be very good at writing what I feel, but please know that you are loved and respected on this board.<P>God Bless

Dear, dear, ES, <P>I saw your reply there... oh my god... thank you!!!<P>Thank you for everything you did for David and me, and for supporting me in my new relationship now...<P>I am grateful and blessed!!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

No, this is not a goodbye message, because Lord knows I've written enough of those to last a lifetime -- AND, I keep coming back, so it seems kinda silly! <P>Here's the thing.<P>Over on the D/D board I wrote one of these messages too, as I said... and clearly my being here is sending a message that I did not want to send.<P>For every message of support, I believe there is a dozen or more lurkers or non-lurkers who feel that I'm promoting infidelity.<P>It was mentioned to me that if I was *okay* with all of this I wouldn't care what people think. <P>I've always cared what people think.<P>...sigh...<P>Thank you for the support I have received, and I will continue to visit those posters who I think might benefit from my experience. <P>Maybe one day I'll just disappear -- hey, stranger things have happened...<P>Like I said before... I am a hurricane... and maybe this was just me blowing through...<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

Sheryl,<P>I am so sorry you were prompted to write this post. <P>I am one of the many here who are entirely aware of your position on infidelity.<P>There were many times when you came at Arik with that cyber 2x4 (along with Dylan) trying to knock some sense into him. You have always shared the lessons you have learned from your mistakes and tried to steer others in the right direction.<P>Thanks for all you have done to save marriages on the boards.<BR>Your input is helpful and appreciated.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole <P><p>[This message has been edited by Patient Love (edited April 21, 2001).]

Thank you Nicole.<P>How are you and Arik? I think of you both often! <P>Love, Sheryl