Last week my wife asked me why I read all this stuff. She said all the people here have a different case to ours. I said why? She said well for one thing the age difference is probably not the same. I am older by 15 years and my wife had an affair with a person her age. That's all she said on this issue. So I wonder now if that is a big clue that the reason she had the affair was to try a younger man while she still could. If so then I can see how she would not want to hurt my feelings with this kind of information. So maybe she is right that knowing more details in my case would not help me any. Also there was no love between the two people either so that is also a difference. But the betrayal part is still the same. Every few weeks I get one more little clue but I try not to discuss the subject in order to keep my wife and myself happy. But inside of course it will take me longer to recover. But now at the sixe week mark I am doing pretty good. For me a councellor is not an option because of language and that the notion is foreign to my wife. Maybe for me it is good?

An affair is an affair and it doesn't matter why. The betrayal is there whether you are the same age or 20 years older! If she doesn't want to go to counseling, you should for yourself.

Rodger -- I am almost 10 years older than my W, and her PA was with someone about my age.<P>Age isn't a factor, infidelity is.<P>God Bless

Well I would love to comment on this as I am 7 years older than my husband. That always made me nervous and was afraid that one day he would meet someone his own age and be gone. <P>Well he meet someone and was gone alright but she turned out to be 10 years older than him, she lied to him about her age claiming to be younger than me however I found the truth out and showed him. Not that age is the point but if she is lying about her age she was probably lying about everything and she was!

Hi Roger,<P>I read your post earlier and have thought about it a lot today. Does age make a difference? Many would think so but reality says it is just another excuse. <P>I am 5 years older than H, H went after someone almost 7 years older than himself. But there is more. <P>I'd like to share a story about my grandmother. She was a 'picture bride'. Her H (my grandfather) was her second husband (her first died before she was 25 due to suicide - whole different story). My grandfather was 20 years senior to my grandmother and had been married before in the old country to a woman who was like a model/beauty queen/socialite type person. I don't know her name and never saw a picture but relatives say it is true. They never had any children and I believe she left him for someone else. Anyway, sight unseen, my grandfather left his country and went to Hawaii. An arranged marriage was made for him and my grandmother (who had 3 daughters). My grandmother had a sense of humor. She was a petite and nice woman with a loving heart and could match wits with the best of them. I always thought my grandmother was a beautiful woman but she used to call herself the poison frog. Why? Because she said compared to the 1st wife, she was not as beautiful, but despite their age difference and really not knowing each other much before their marriage, my grandmother & grandfather had for the most part a happy marriage & produced 4 boys. She said the 'poison frog' had it better off than the beauty queen. She was right. The age difference did not hinder their marriage in the least. <P>My grandmother's first husband was near her age, he committed suicide because his aunt (by marriage) basically coerced him to have sex with her resulting in a birth of a son. This tortured his soul so much that he committed suicide leaving my grandmother with 3 young girls. <P>My grandmother was well aware of what an A. could do. Her 2nd H was much older and more travelled but they both respected each other and I believe even grew to love each other. <P>My point is that, age is not always a factor. There are too many stories out here where A's take place irregardless of the age difference. <P>To me that is just an excuse. <P>L.