My H (WS) says to me this morning......<BR>" I know you wouldnt go out and an have an affair".....This at first flattered me because i thought he was complimenting my character value.......however when i asked him why he said that he comes back with......"you have no sex drive, so i dont have to worry about you screwing around on me"..... <BR> This was upsetting, I have s ex drive not as strong as his but i have one..... H tries to initate at the most inappropriate times. like when our 1 year old is awake .... I wont leave the baby to her own devices unattended. he dont understand this.. also he will be online to like 3 or 4 am and expects me to wake up to have sex.... considering i am mostly up at 6am i dont see why he cannot put his computer aside for an hour or so at 11 to make love. I have tried to explain this to him but H acts like a spoiled 2 year old, thinking that everything should revolve around him. I dont know any other way to get him to compromise with me. Its always either his way or no way.<BR>Thanks all for listening<BR>OB<BR><P>------------------<BR>"The human Heart is often the victim of the sensations of the moment; Success intoxicates it to presumption and disappointment defects and terrifies it."<BR>~~Valney~~

OB-<P>Nawwwwwwwww...........don't be insulted. Men were given 2 heads-wish I knew why they needed two-and they don't always think with the right one at the right time.<P>It is OK for you to be cautious and/or tired! But most men just don't get this when they are wanting SEX.<P>Please try to talk to H and work out an agreeable arrangement.<P>Can you "put the moves on him" when the time is right for you?<P>Can you go "pester" him when he is online?<P>Just don't give up!!!!!<P><P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<P>"Life's A Dance<BR>You Learn As You Go.<BR>Sometimes You Lead<BR>Sometimes You Follow!<BR>Don't worry 'Bout What You Don't Know<BR>LIfe's A Dance <BR>You Learn As You Go."

Just remind him that most affairs are not about sex. They are about how you feel about you when you are with that person. If a man were to say and do things with you and for you (not sexually) that made you feel good about yourself, it would be easy to have an affair... Ask the women here who HAVE made that unfortunate decision - most of them will tell you that sex with the OM wasn't even good... just how he made them feel about themselves!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Don't be insulted at all. Wanting to do it when you should be caring for your child, and expecting you to wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning is ridiculous. Obviously there are more underlying problems that contribute to the fact that you aren't having romantic evenings together without the computer being the main attraction.<BR>

I don't know if I should say "LOL..." or "How sad..." that the majority of married OW have no sex drive with their H's but have plenty enough for their OM!<P>But this would be an LB to mention to your H. <P>Do you know how to Negotiate (Harley's way) using the rule of the Policy of Joint Agreement (POJA)? I bet you could quickly resolve this schedule discrepency/LB/sex thing if you guys brainstormed on it. Please look up how to negotiate on either the Harley's homepage or in his SAA book.<P>Good luck, Hon.<P>L<P>P.S. I know what he said sucked. But for now try to put the "insult" behind you and instead, look at resolving the issue that caused it to be uttered in the first place. The statement is basically a neon sign that there is something that needs to be dealt with in your marriage.

Thanx all for replying.<BR>My H and I have 1 major Problem...COMMUNICATION.<BR>Once in a while we can actually talk without yelling at eash other and usually when the compromise is decided H seems to forget it an hour later..... This Ido not know how to resolve . have tried reminding him, subtly hinting...etc.<BR> it just doesnt work.... hes like arevolving door. remorseful onew minute ... my fault the next..... I dont know how to get around it .... so i guess i just deal with it.<BR>BTW i am not one for making the moves that often when i do pester him when hes on line hes like hold on a sec...... then an hour later i fell asleep waiting for him and hes mad cause i went to bed..<BR>I cant win with one i dont think.<BR>thanks all for listening again<P>------------------<BR>"The human Heart is often the victim of the sensations of the moment; Success intoxicates it to presumption and disappointment defects and terrifies it."<BR>~~Valney~~